Apr 05, 2005 - 11:57 am
My friend was diagnosed with an oligodendroglioma in the fall of 2003. She underwent surgery and a year of chemo. When the year was over, she celebrated by coming to visit me. She was fine. We went dancing. Everything seemed like it was going to be ok.
6-8 weeks later, the tumor had started to grow again. I went to visit her last month, and the tumor had grown and spread so quickly in the 3 months since the MRI that her whole right side was paralyzed, she'd lost the vision in her right eye, and was sometimes unable to string a sentence together. But they were about to start her on a new chemo treatment, her 4th since 2003, and we hoped that it would do what the other treatments did not.
I was supposed to visit her again this coming weekend, but my trip has been canceled. She isn't well enough to see people. She can no longer speak much at all, and sleeps 18 hours a day. It is obvious that not only is the chemo not working, but that there is not much time left. She just turned 23 this past November.
She is perhaps the most amazing person I have ever known, and I will never hear her voice again. I want to have hope and believe that somehow she will make it, but I don't. The best I can do is pray that the end be as painless and merciful as possible.
I don't know how to accept this. I'm sad and depressed, and I'm angry. Part of me is screaming inside, because none of this makes any sense. I don't know how cope with this.