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My Dear Dad Newly Diagnosed

lllmom
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2005

Hi,

I am so happy to find this support network. We just lost my Mom two years ago to lung cancer. My Dad was the most wonderful compasionate care giver for her. Just this week, we find that he has adenocarcinoma of the sigmoid and he sees a surgeon Thursday. Thank God he had the routine colonoscopy at 74, but I sure wish he had done it sooner. He has a villous adenoma and they are going to do a resection. I guess we will learn more after he sees the surgeon. Loosing Mom was hard, and there was a lot of suffering. It is still very fresh in our minds, and that's what makes this even tougher. I am going to move in with my Dad for several weeks during his recovery from the surgery, and I am wondering what kind of care he will need if he need chemo, etc. He lives alone since Mom died, but sometimes I wish we could convince him to live with us. I have four children, but they are older and they all love their grandad a lot ! This is not my dad's first bout with cancer. 25 years ago he lost his eye to melanoma on his retina. He is an amazing man.
Thanks so much for listening to my rambling. My prayers go out to all of you wonderful and courageous people.

Lanie

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Your dad will gain tremendously just knowing he has your support- it is vital to have this back up both at the time of diagnosis emotionally as well as more practical support around the time of surgery. I admire your caring love for him- he is obviously a wonderful man.
He will need your help after the op. I was only 31 when my stage 3 restal cancer was resected and I needed to rely on my wife for a period which was difficult to do. He is likely to be in hosptital around two weeks if all goes well. After that he sholdn't lift anything heavy for around 6 weeks to let the wound heal. He will be physically tired and need to rest a lot including sleeps during the day. He will need to be careful about diet- avoid too much fibre initially esp if he has a stoma and jsut build things up slowly. Help with the house work, cooking and general care will be important.
He may also benefit from some one just to talk to. Ia m sure he is scareed of all this just as you are for him. Many older men esp find it difficult to voice these worries and I'm sure you know him well enough to judge what is right for him. But just being there available to talk to and help hold his anxieties and fears will also be important.
Chemo will depend on the stage of the tumour which may not be known till after the op so just take it one stage at a time and him through this initial part first and deal with the unknowns as they become known (if you know what I mean).
Let us know how things go and rememebr both you and your dad are welcome here any time,
Steve

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Your dad will gain tremendously just knowing he has your support- it is vital to have this back up both at the time of diagnosis emotionally as well as more practical support around the time of surgery. I admire your caring love for him- he is obviously a wonderful man.
He will need your help after the op. I was only 31 when my stage 3 restal cancer was resected and I needed to rely on my wife for a period which was difficult to do. He is likely to be in hosptital around two weeks if all goes well. After that he sholdn't lift anything heavy for around 6 weeks to let the wound heal. He will be physically tired and need to rest a lot including sleeps during the day. He will need to be careful about diet- avoid too much fibre initially esp if he has a stoma and jsut build things up slowly. Help with the house work, cooking and general care will be important.
He may also benefit from some one just to talk to. Ia m sure he is scareed of all this just as you are for him. Many older men esp find it difficult to voice these worries and I'm sure you know him well enough to judge what is right for him. But just being there available to talk to and help hold his anxieties and fears will also be important.
Chemo will depend on the stage of the tumour which may not be known till after the op so just take it one stage at a time and him through this initial part first and deal with the unknowns as they become known (if you know what I mean).
Let us know how things go and rememebr both you and your dad are welcome here any time,
Steve

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Hi Lanie,

First, I'm so sorry about the loss of your Mother and now your Dad's illness. You have come to a great site for comfort, information, prayers or just to be lifted up when you are down. There are some great people here, both cancer survivors and caregivers.

Your Dad's care while on chemo will of course depend on the regimen he will receive. Your doctor should give you information on expected side effects, however people react differently. Some have very few side effects and seemingly breeze through treatment, others become very ill. So it is a wait and see. Your Dad is very fortunate to have such a loving and caring daughter. I know he will be just fine and has the best caregiver.

Come here whenever you need information anytime. We all are happy to share our experiences, treatment, etc...

Take care. You will be held in our prayers.

Kerry

CAMaura
Posts: 719
Joined: Feb 2005

Hi there Lanie,

You both sound amazing - not just your dad. You have received really good advice from the other site-members....so I will just offer my wishes of strength right now. You seem so giving...your father will so much appreciate your care. Maybe he will move in with you, but it is so hard for an older person think about giving up their independence - regardless of the reality of the situation....
Things will pan out for his treratment; I would just suggest lots of communication between you and his docs.
And please, try to take care of your self as well.

Take care and keep in touch.
Cheers,
Maura

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2600
Joined: Apr 2003

Lanie -

Everyone is different in their response to chemo and resection surgery is tough at any age.

Keeping you and your dad in my prayers.

- SpongeBob

lllmom
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2005

Thanks so much you guys ! I really appreciate all of the kind and informative words. I hope you are all having a wonderful day. We only have today, and we need to make it count. You all are an inspiration. Thanks again.

Blessings, Lanie

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Lanie, Good luck with the surgeon visit. It may be too early to know what kind of post op treatment dad will need...depends on the extent of growth of the tumor, and whether it has spread to lymph nodes. My dad had his resection at age 82 and we couldn't believe how well he came through the surgery. Everyone's response to chemo is different,too, and there are different regimens used.
Good luck to you both; he's lucky to have such a caring family. Keep us posted. Judy

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