Reoccurance

Hi. I'll start off on the positive side. Sunday is my two year anniversary since dx and I'm clean. Considering I was stage III, HER2+ I think I'm doing OK!

Susan

Bilateral mastectomy Feb. 6, 2003. 2 1/2 cm IDC with clear nodes. ER/PR++ and Her2NU-. Four cycles of AC ending May 8, 2003. Guess that puts me in the 2 year range. Taking Arimidex because it was advised and cancer was grade III. Followup testing continues to indicate all blood counts normal and no cancer detected.
Each anniversary I acknowledge is important but I'm aware that survivors have recurred 10-15 years later. Studies have examined the blood of 20-30 year survivors and found cancer cells that never developed or matured. They don't know why these women stayed healthy and others recurred. Until they know more, I have to agree completely with Sweet-onion. Stay away from toxic and stay positive.
terri

Hi:

I'm 4 years, post dx. No recurrence/mets. 1 cm tumor, Stage I, lumpectomy w/sentinel node dissection, chemo and radiation.

I don't count my dx anniversary as meaningful. Instead I choose to acknowledge my "end of treatment" date. I find nothing worthy of celebrating concerning the dx date. The medical community obviously does, so to them I say, whatever puts their lights on/suits their needs! LOL

I will celebrate 4 years, post treatment, in October of this year. At each successive anniversary, I recall how I felt when treatment ended. How I didn't really need my feet for weeks...I floated everywhere. I remember and am grateful for the wonderful things I've learned on this journey, as I also anticipate all the new and amazing things that lie ahead. About myself, life, spirit, love, caring, kindness, giving and sharing. All this "spirit celebrating" each October, reminds me just how precious and wonderful life is. It also spurs me to keep looking for ways to help make it better for everyone. It reminds me of the importance of not getting so caught up in myself that I fail to see and respond to the needs of others. For me, these are important things to always remember.
I've found peace in my spirit and a joy in living that's even better than before my bc and that's where I am in my journey to date.

In the hope that it may help in some way here's a few other thoughts I'd like to share with you:

I refuse to worry about cancer in my future. I will worry when and if I ever need to deal with it again. It's very important not to set up blocks on our road to recovery. To understand that each of us is different and that even when two people share the same dx and treament, they can have two very different outcomes. The importance, I believe, is better placed on how well we live day by day and how determined we are in our fight to improve our condition. To help ourselves find our best lives and put our energy into living and achieving the things which matter to us. To work toward and achieve our personal balance/peace in life and embrace it as the hard won gift it is. To respect and honour our efforts, even very small ones, and to recognize negative energy, people and influences in our lives and take steps to remove ourselves from those circumstances.

I have always believed that one serious fight begins once treatment ends. That being our fight to recover, heal and find peace.

It's not easy and there are many and varied ways to get there. No matter which path we take toward our best lives, it's well worth the effort!
Well worth the persistence, the frustration and the impatience we experience with ourselves, along our way to peace.

I'm curious about what yardstick you're using for determining what's "normal" for yourself? Remember that there are times in our lives, when "abnormal" is perfectly expected and therefore "normal". Makes sense to me anyway. As far as the professional determination of "normal"...that's anybody's guess.
Psychologists, psychiatrist, etc. are all as different as we are, as bc survivors. Some of them can have some looney ideas about things, while others have a completely logical sounding one, although they're in the same profession and studied the same materials to learn their particular fields. Likewise, some of us have greater fear issues and emotional recovery issues, while others seem to have less. Then some of us have greater physical complications, following surgery, chemo and/or radiation. No answers for that. We're all just plain different. Yet we're all the same regarding the serious erosion which fear can bring into our lives, left unchecked. Hope you'll think about that and maybe lighten up about the idea of "normal" and just keep on working toward improvement every day. Let others think what they will. It's not their business. While the road can be long, "how" long it may be isn't as important as just setting a course for getting there.

We must work to release ourselves from fears, labels, etc. and focus on what we can do to help ourselves. Search and find missions can be helpful and very worthwhile. (I refer to it as "turning over stones", just to see what's under there that may be useful)

Fear of recurrence/mets is a huge issue and that seems "normal" enough to me. I mean, we've met
the wicked monster and we don't want to see it again! EVER. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, as long as we don't settle for being stuck in that mode, years and years, later. What if the wicked monster did return? Well, that would mean that we just spent our health and our "shoulda been good" time, in worry and fear. For what? If you can think about the fears as also being a "monster" and then think about all the negative things that kind of persistent fear can being to us, then it's easier to start trying to throttle that monster into nonexistence! At least into a whimpering version of its former self. LOL Sounds violent but hey, cancer is, in a sense, a voilent experience. It assaults every fiber of us, from dx to treatment end. I've yet to hear anyone walk out of cancer treatment, of any kind, and say, "Oh, that felt good". It is mean business, pure and simple. All the more reason not to let ANY part of it get away with hanging around and usurping our quality of life, if we don't have to???

If nothing else, maybe this looong post has given you something to read and has helped take your mind off your worries for a bit. LOL

Take good care of yourself, enjoy your health to the fullest and remember that you are in greater control, regarding emotions and attitude, than you have yet acknowledged! Have faith because you WILL get past this stage.

Love, light and laughter,
Ink

I was Stage 2 w/ 1 node involved, ER,PR,Her2 Pos. I am now 3.5 years out and counting with no reoccurence! Take it one day at a time, follow up with the docs when you needs to, be aware and enjoy. I don't think that the worry ever completely goes away, but I am only hoping it gets easier to deal with. Hang in there!

I was 5 years out and have reocurrance. The cancer is in my liver and bones. I start chemotherapy on Monday.