Feb 12, 2005 - 9:01 pm
I have been on Doxil for two months now and had an evaluation that showed some bad stuff going on. Apparently, the cancer has spread. It is in my uterus and breast. I am really concerned about how this has happened so quickly or why it wasn't caught earlier and how it happened while I am on chemo. The doctors have little to say about the why and how and it has created a lot of anger from me and John. It seems strange that it happened so fast. I have been doing everything I've been told to do, I have never missed an appointment, and I have prayed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Has anyone had an experience like this? Did the doctors miss this or could it really have popped up like this?
I am tired, frustrated, and I feel like I am losing. This is my fourth year dealing with this on and off, and I don't really know what else I can do to cope. It has really put a damper on all the excitement I should be feeling being 24 and a new house owner. I don't think I will even be able to help move in. My husband has not slept in about a week. He is tired and frustrated as well. I am worried about him. There is so much to do with the house and there is little I can do to help him. He is exhausted. Still, he prays with me and goes to all of my doctor appointments and jumps on the computer to do the research when I can't. He is an amazing man and I am blessed to have him in my life. I feel terrible for putting him through this. He should be much happier at this point in his life. It just isn't fair.
I have yet to tell my parents. Some of you may know that they are not the most supportive people in the world. With such a bad prognosis, maybe they will finally come around. I am just not ready to face the possibility that they won't come around.
I am sorry I am complaining when so many others have their own things to worry about. I am just really scared and am not too sure what I should do. If you have any info about fast spreading cancer, I would love to know.
Love to all...prayers are sent up for all of you every night.