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Why am I struggling?

LMLucy
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2004

I am new to this website. I am a 3 1/2 year survivor of adenocarcinoma in situ stage 1b and had a hysterectomy during my prime child-bearing years. I am still grieving. It is not that I don't feel lucky to be alive - I certainly wouldn't trade that for anything. Does anyone else feel that because you had cervical, you somehow had a "not so serious" experience because it wasn't a brain tumor or Breast Cancer? The fear and grief is the same isn't it?

SharonEL's picture
SharonEL
Posts: 21
Joined: Jun 2003

Hi Lucy! Cancer is cancer! Women die everyday from cervical cancer, so your experience is every bit as serious as someone elses. I had vaginal cancer and I know I am very lucky to be alive.
We all grieve, Lucy. I read a book called, "Dancing in Limbo" by Glenna Halvorson-Boyd and Lisa K. Hunter. I found it very helpful. I ordered it from Amazon.com
I am almost two years post diagnosis. I am also still struggling. Only other cancer survivors can understand how you feel. Everyone I know expects me to just get over it. If only it were that simple.
Please be kind to yourself. You are not alone.

CarlaCamarena
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2004

Don't ever feel that way. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer back in June of 2003. I think that it never gets easier. I had chemo, radiation, brachy therapy and surgery (partial pelvic exteneration) and still have a nephrostomy tube in place. I am grateful that the cancer is gone for now but am always afraid. I have been out of the woods for 9 months. Each individual has their own thoughts and feelings and on what they are going through. Each person goes through a difficult time. I have good days and bad days so don't feel guilty when you feel sad or angry or frustrated. Its normal. Hope this helps.

1jml
Posts: 12
Joined: Apr 2004

I often feel the same way. Last week was a year since my last radiation treatment. My family and friends see me as being healthy and far as they are concerned, all better. The fact of the matter is I struggle with this every day. I, too am in my child bearing years. At times it seems impossible to cope with the lose. I try to tell myself that its OK and maybe I was supposed to be a great aunt instead of a great mom. Who knows! I am happy to hear that you are doing well physically. Emotionally I don't know if this is something that we can "get over". Just know that you are not alone. I wish you well!

sherry7
Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2005

Hi Lucy!
I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in situ stage1 this past Thanksgiving. I was told if I had not had a pap test within six months, I wouldn't make it. I had surgery six weeks ago and my brother and his wife seem to think I should be over it. Even when the doctor says the cancer is gone, I don't think it is. I am a Kindergarten teacher and it is so hard to be around kids knowing that I am 31 and will never have my own. Being single has also been difficult. How do I tell a man that I can never have his baby? It is nice to know I'm not alone right now

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