Aug 24, 2004 - 12:05 pm
I am really doing better. Still have drainage tube. Also butt still taped up because of drainage. Also catheter because bladder not working and permanent colostomy. But.....I'm alive. So, why am I having the feelings I am??? I've been crying a lot. I've even had thoughts of "why didn't I die? My body would be perfect in Heaven??""" I know that's not a good thought. My family would certainly miss me. I just feel like I'm pieced together and my husband is always having to help me change this or that, which humiliates me. He says he doesn't mind and that I would do the same for him, and I would. I even asked him last night if he would eventually get tired of me and leave? He acted shocked and said he would never leave me. What a jewel he is!!! I really am lucky. Just can't seem to shake this depression . I am on medication, which my doctor increased, but still feeling this way. Any suggestions????????