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loved one leaves when cancer comes

summerbreeze
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2004

I am new to this website and feeling very shy about writing. But I need help and to know of others' experiences. I just had cancer surgery for melanoma. My boyfriend who had wanted to marry me has now left me. It's because he can't handle what's happening to me. There is no chance for reuniting. Has this happened to anyone else? What have others of you done to deal with this? I am crazy with grief and fury.

chrismn
Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi Summer,

Although I have not had this happen to me, I can imagine how devastating that can be. When something so dramatic happens in your life you would hope that your loved ones would stick by your side. If he was so selfish that he refused to help you through your fight with cancer, then it is probably a good thing that he is gone. I'm sorry that it worked out that way, but in the end maybe it's a good thing. With his actions we can tell that he isn't willing to stick with you through "sickness or health" so maybe the marriage wouldn't have worked out anway. Again, I'm sorry that happened to you, but you don't need him anyway. Your family and friends that DO stick with you will do anything and everything they can for you. Just know that you're never alone, all of us here are always willing to talk. Good luck with everything.

kirstie
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2004

summer,
I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend but i think chrismn is right. Your better off alone...than all the disappointment that will come when hes not there during difficult times. life is full of obstacles its better to know now than later. I am 32 years old and married I recently have been diagnosed with Melanoma as well. I have had 2 out of the 5 areas surgically removed. My husband has not been supportive ....not for the lack of caring i would hope but i think its from the lack of knowlege and or fear....it's not an easy road physically or emotionally..its nice to talk to someone close but if they havent traveled our path they really don't understand...i looked to this site to discuss my experience with people that would understand traveling a similar/same path.

mclachlan413
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2004

I got melanoma when i was 18, and i not only lost my best friend, but my boyfriend as well. both couldn't deal with the pressure it added to THEIR lives.

magz
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2004

Summerbreeze, the same thing happened to me. The man I trusted with my heart totally shut me out too. Take heart. It takes a while to heal, but it can be done. You need someone who is there for you through thick and thin, just as you would for them. Another thing is that many people out there do not realize that MM is a deadly disease. They just dismiss it as just a "skin cancer." Anyone else find this? Anyway, my heart goes out to you, Summerbreeze. Be encouraged. -M-

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