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Understanding...

Christmasgirl's picture
Christmasgirl
Posts: 17
Joined: Aug 2003

Hi, I'm 35 Single and have a new leash on life. Never have I felt so confident. In contrast, I feel so lonely. As if no one understands me. I've been told by the men that I have dated that I intimidate them by my attitude on life. After all, I live each day to it's fullest and the small things seem not to matter. So why is it so difficult to find my soul mate. Yes, I have my family and I have my friends whom I love dearly. But, how do I connect with that special someone without scaring them away? Does anyone else experience this? Sometimes I feel that the surgery, the chemo, the recovery was the easy part and that the surviving is the hard part.

lynni15's picture
lynni15
Posts: 5
Joined: May 2004

I ABSOLUTELY know how you feel! I hope this benefits you as much as it does me, but it relieves me so much to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I'm 24 and 6 year leukemia survivor and I've dated my share of guys who have said or reacted the same way you've said you'rs have. I've felt so confused...having this lust for life, yet feeling like i'm wrong in some way or totally misunderstood...Especially in relationships with men. I've felt guilty for wanting to be with someone and wanting to be loved by another person, and knowing I have my family and close friends who do. But coming to this website has really helped me out by reading other survivors posts and seeing their feeligns are not that different from mine; that what i feel may be considered normal for those of us who've gone through something like this.

I wish I had the answers of how to connect with someone. I think part of it has to do with self esteem. I know mine is not as high as i'd like it to be. Sometimes its just the guys we choose. I've really started trying to look at this. Maybe we can learn together or maybe we know somethings the other doesnt. Either way...you're not alone...at least not in feeling the way you do. Hope this helps and write to me anytime! :-)

P.S. one of the survivors, michael, is trying to start a young "single" cancer survivors discussion board. his post is on there if you hadnt seen it yet. It sounds more and more like a good idea the more posts i read. :-)

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