upset.

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bunnie
bunnie Member Posts: 233
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Sorry iam posting another message tonight but i just read a web page that upset me.I cant get over how many spouces or senific other abbondens the ones they love in this time of need.I just gets too me.what happens?Iam so lucky that i have a very loving husband sometimes i wonder how he puts up with my mood swings.but i know since he is sticking by he truly loves me.Sorry i am rantting but like i said it really bothers me.Bunnie

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  • Mich1417
    Mich1417 Member Posts: 37 Member
    #2
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    I have a great spouse, too! There probably are more good ones than bad, but you just hear more of the bad stories because they want to vent. My hubby occasionally kisses my bald head. He works out with me, helping me with my "special" arm(radical mastectomy side) when I have to lift weights over my head, makes me whatever I want to eat on my worst chemo day....etc! We've been married 12 years this June 6th! He's the best! Glad you found a great guy too!
  • lynne40
    lynne40 Member Posts: 87
    #3
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    Hi Bunnie, I have a good guy too. Even when I've been an absolute B***ch, he's been supportive and helpful. My whole family has been great and sometimes you still feel alone because after all in a way we do go through this alone but I agree there are more good spouses than bad, but you don't need to vent about the good ones!
    Lynne
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    #4
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    Hi bunnie:

    My husband is an amazing man and like many other's here, I'm grateful for him in my life every single day! Those of us so blessed can only celebrate and be thankful for our significant other's who care, stand by us no matter what comes along, love us and care for us in our worst hours and continue to show us that we're very important in their lives. Such a gift!

    I agree, it's so sad to be going through cancer or any other catastrophic illness/condition and find that the one person you count on most simply isn't there. There are probably various reasons for this yet we also know that sometimes, it's the person with the health difficulty who decides they need/want a change and no longer want the relationship. Cancer can bring many things in our lives into clearer focus. Some change careers, move across country, while some find that they want to live life differently all the way round and that involves change.

    Sometimes, spouses just can't handle the tough times. They never counted on such things happening (who of us does???)and when they do, they can fall apart or run away from it altogether. Human beings are complicated and while many struggle to find effective/positive ways to cope with adversity, other's just can't find a way or don't really want to find a way and that's pretty much that. Sad, but a part of living.

    While some women (and men)have been left bewildered and heart broken, after losing a relationship, due to going through cancer, other's have realized a much better life without their previous partner's. So, as sad and painful as a break up can be, there is often a silver lining. Just like with our cancer....we go through so much, physically and emotionally but then the healing begins, inside, as we put our lives together and move forward, often becoming a much better, wiser, stronger, more fulfilled us.

    Life is quite a journey full of surprises...some wonderful and some bone crushingly painful. I think the important thing is that we continue to learn and grow from all we experience. Change what we want to change and can change and accept the rest. Sort of like the old adage: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I'd take that one step further and advise SAVORING that lemonade, because it likely took a while to make...I'd even go after the last dregs of it with a straw! LOL

    Just my thoughts...hope they may help you to feel better.

    Love, light and laughter,
    Ink

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