May 11, 2004 - 12:47 pm
When I was first diagnosed (June 03), I was of course scared, upset, angry, etc. Xanax was my first line of defense. As time went on and a CT scan showed shrinkage of my liver tumors, my attitude became more positive and I chose to get off of the Xanax. I also wanted off of it because it made me too tired. The last few months, however, have showed no improvement and actually I have had minimal growth of liver tumors. I have, however, had no further spreading of the disease, and I am trying to hold onto this positive aspect. As the 1-year mark is approaching, however, frustration, anger, and maybe a little depression are setting in. I want to stay positive as I do believe this is very important to my survival. I have 2 small children, and I look at them for encouragement as I, of course, want to be here for them (and my husband!) as they grow up. So how do you keep the positive feelings on top and not let anger and depression creep in?
Thanks for listening and letting me have a little pity party!! So very many of you seem so upbeat and positive that I thought I'd just ask "HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?!"
Thanks again! Love and prayers to you all!!