My husband is not dealing well with the fact that his mom has been diagnosed with cancer. She has melanoma and is now in radiation. I have tried all I know to help and I am lost. Can someone give me an idea of how to help?
I have been through cancer twice with my father who is now 80 and my 47 year old sister. If you can offer any type of help directly to your mother in law, please make the effort. The best thing in my opinion that the family can offer is support, help and sometimes just listening. If you need to vent to someone, the chat rooms here are great with support and advice also.
It seems to me that everyone has a different way of dealing with cancer diagnosis. My mother, whom had breast cancer 5 years ago, is now fighting brain, bone and adrenal mets. We lost my father 11 years ago to carcinoid. I have noticed that my brother is dealing with our Mom's situation by planning beautiful trips that we cannot possibly take. I have also noticed that my sister thinks hand carrying Mom's latest scans will some how make the next appointment different. My sibs are both very wonderful and intelligent people. I believe that somewhere inside they know the reality but are coping the best way that they can. I come to this place to read others peoples ways of coping and to hear the honesty that I feel that I must have in order to cope. I don't say anything negative to my sibs and just listen to their plans and such. Sometimes it just takes time for people to handle things and sometimes there is nothing you can do. As individuals we all have our own reality. I would recommend that you don't push and that you do what you think is right for your mother-in-law. Often people follow anothers lead and things work out. I wish you the best. Take care of yourself and most of all be patient.