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Getting pregnant

mle's picture
mle
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi. I don't know where to begin...but my Mom has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. I am 28 and married to a wonderful man and have a wonderful family and support system. My husband and I have been discussing starting a family a bit early because of the cancer. Do you think this would be too much stress on my Mom and to selfish of myself? My mom doesn't have any grandchildren yet I can't imagine the possibility of getting pregnant for the first time without her. Does anyone have any advice out there?

Thanks

MLE in Roseville

meganucci's picture
meganucci
Posts: 11
Joined: Feb 2004

I was in the same position two years ago when I was 20, my husband and I found out I was pregnant. I'm an only child and my mom had just been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. My mom was so excited when she found out I was pregnant. I don't think having a baby is selfish, if anything it is a blessing. Don't take life for granted because you never know what tomorrow may bring.
It was hard for me throughout my pregnancy though, because my mom couldn't be there for me. If you decide to start a family now, be strong. It will be rough, but in the end, when you're watching your mother look at her first grand baby for the first time, it will all be worth it. I couldn't imagine my life without my son, and I think your mother would feel so blessed to see her first grandchild.
I would like to keep in touch with you for support if you would like. You can e-mail me through the CSN web-site or my e-mail address is meganucci3@yahoo.com Good Luck!!

Meganucci in California

mle's picture
mle
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi Megan,

Thanks for writing. I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mom. I wish I could help you with your hospice care question, but I have very little experience with all of this. We are just at the beginning of this road and I guess all I can say is, remember to laugh and let your mom know that you are going to be okay so she won't worry about the next steps that she has to make.

I do however appreciate your advice on me starting a family. I am very excited and scared but mostly overwhelmed. My Mom and I run a business together and the thought of having to handle it all on my own is unbearable. I know hearing that my husband and I are going to have a child would be all she could hope for, but I'm just a little nervous about adding something else to our already hectic situation. You are right though, life can't be taken for granted and a child would bring so much joy to all of our lives. Thank you.

I too would like to continue to communicate with you. You can reach me at mlejacobson@yahoo.com, or just continue to 'reply' to me here.
If you ever need to vent, I will listen.

Mle

calm
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi mle. I had my first baby at 43 after a bc diagnosis. Putting off having a baby is not a good idea. One of the factors connected with BC is having a baby late or not at all. But that aside what kept me going and fighting was seeing my beautiful son. Life is too short. There are so many complications about everything it seems. There probably is never a perfect time to get pregmant. The problems you may incur along the way may be compounded. Waiting till later could bring more problems. I say go for it. Reach into your heart. I would love to know what happens either way you go. Email me at Jilmamck@aol.com

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