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so worried about my dad

positive
Posts: 75
Joined: Dec 2003

my dad is going to have his 7th chemo treatment of ABVD. He does not go out and goes from the bed to his recliner, he says he has no energy to do anything. My mom says he is feeling depressed too. Is this a common thing will he get worse or does it stay the same. My mom is so upset to see him this way. He is taking Xanex for anxiety, Imitrex for indigestion, Emend for nausea (sometimes), does not have neutropenia or anemia. Is is common to have more bad days than good with ABVD. He is Stage IIa, nod. sclerosis, non bulky.

tsivels
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 2004

I understand your concern. It is hard seeing someone you love sick. I have noticed a couple of your messages on the board and I can tell that you are very involved in your father's treatment. I commend you for that because many of us who are and have gone through treatment have felt abandonment from some so the best thing you can is stick by his side. You have to think about a number of things when it comes to your father. Number one he is older, number two cancer affects your immune system, specifically HD affects the lymph tissue which a vital part of your immune system, third is chemotherapy is treatment from chemicals (chemicals that your body doesn't produce itself, something that isn't normally in your body) and lastly, I know your father doesn't have energy but staying inactive can't do much to help either. I was 22 and pretty much in good shape before I was diagnosed and chemotherapy definitely took its toll on me. People tolerate chemotherapy differently, what may work for others may not work for him and what may happen to others may not happen for your father. Your immune system is a very important part of your body and when it's down and not performing as it should your whole body feels the affect of it. Just think about having the flu or even a cold---having cancer is like having the flu to the 100th power or some may even increase that number. All I can advise you to do is just have faith. Have faith that things will be over soon. I know having faith is hard to think about when you see your father in a different light, but I'm speaking from experience. I've fought the fight and my faith got me through. I will keep your father and family in my prayers.

Heatherjb
Posts: 27
Joined: Feb 2004

I have seen your posting and it is obvious that you are very concerned about your dad. Have you mentioned any of this to his Oncologist? Maybe the doctors can make some suggestions.
For me it was very overwhelming hearing that you have cancer and then having to struggle through all the treatments. It is a grieving process of sorts. It sounds like your dad is angry about the situation. The thing that helped me the most was talking to people who had survived cancer. My suggestion would be to get him to go to a support group. You can find them at your local cancer center or even on line. When you first hear that you have cancer, it feels like a death sentence. Talking to people who have survived was what helped me to start fighting back.
Also, try to get your dad to do things that he really likes to do. I got so sick from chemo, so 2 days before I had to go back in, I would go to my favorite restaurants and "pig out" since I knew I would not be able to eat without throwing up for the next week.
Some cancer centers also have support groups for families. Sounds like you and your mom might want to look into one of these. Other families have been through very similar situations and can offer a lot of good advice.
Just keep looking towards the finish line. He is almost there. Good luck! I will keep your dad in my prayers.

suz64
Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi,
I'm so glad to hear that you are so supportive of your dad during this time. Not everyone can be so supportive or try to understand all of the demands or just the terminology!
I had Standford V, not the ABVD and I believe I had the exact same stage and type of Hodgkins that your dad has.
It was hard at times and I felt like crap. I had three kids under the age of 8, so I did not get to participate in a lot of their activities.
There were times I did not want to go to chemo or even take my drugs. So I bargained with myself. I found out what it would take for me to go to chemo or take my drugs and use it as a "reward".
Also, one wise person who had cancer of the pancreas told me something that is so simple, yet true. He said that his cancer is really such a small part of him. Really, it is a small part of his life. He still has interests, hobbies, and other things he would like to do even though he may be limited because of his lack of energy or feeling ill. He said that he was determined to die by being hit by a car or something and not his cancer.
Talk to your dad about other things rather than just his illness. If he needs to talk about it, let him and acknowledge those feelings, but also encourage him to talk about the things he enjoys. Or help him find new interests, maybe ones that he thought he never had time for. Encourage him to journal, draw, or paint to help him express his feelings.
I wish you all well and know that you are not alone. Take care.

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