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Mom has breast cancer

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

I am new on this site, and 16 years old. My mother has recently found out that she has breast cancer. I have three younger sisters that are counting on me to be strong for them, but i dont know how much longer i can be strong. It is like a mask that i put on everyday, i look strong, but i am not. Has anyone been in a simular situation? And how did you cope with all the emotions and be able to stay strong? Also my mom would like to know where she can get some scarves and/or hats for when she goes on chemotheropy and may loose her hair. Thanks so much ~Melissa

Posts: 16
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Honey; You ARE strong; tears and fears don't take that away from you. My Mom got cancer when I was 17, so I can remember your fear. It's very scary to see your parent(s) get sick, no matter how old we are! That was 31 years ago and she has endured 2 other cancers, BUT, she will be celebrating her 80th birthday next week. Keep good thoughts; she did. She just went on and faced it with a smile, determination, and, I am sure, a good amount of fear. But, the cancer gives you that fear so you can't let it beat you; you can't let it win. You and your sisters can be the best support group there is, because you have have other and share "the Mom" who is sick. You can teach them how to talk to one another, and that talking helps in any situation. Teach them to not be afraid of "being afraid"; everyone is at some time or other. It is a part of life. Lean on each other, and let your Mom lean on you as well. But, I bet she is stronger than you think. If you need to cry, IT'S OKAY. Let it out. But, find laughter where you can as well. It will free you. Your sisters are very lucky to have you; your concern for them is so admirable, especially at your age. Stick together; family support is a MUST. And, when you are feeling overwhelmed, write to me. I am here for you and you can vent out all your frustrations. Even though you are the "big sister", let yourself lean on the younger ones sometimes. Everyone will have bad moments and sharing will help get all of you through it. I only have older brothers, so I never had a chance (until now?) to be a big sister. Bless you, and let me know how you are? Victoria

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

I am a 52 year old mom who just recently finished my treatment of breast cancer.My daughter is 27,I also have 2 sons,25 and 17. My daughter lives 4 hrs. away, my 2 sons live with my husband and myself. When i went through my chemo treatment which was once every 4 weeks; for 12 weeks; my daughter went to every treatment with me. My husband thought that would be best as she was the one who lived so far away and was scared enough already. I have to say she felt so relived knowing all would be o.k. when she had to leave. She got her strength in being with me through that faze and i got strength from her to face an illness that came much to early in our lives. She even came in for some of my radiation treaments that was only 5 min. every day for 2 mo. We then attended some classes together at my cancer clinc. I kept the communication going long distance for her reasurance this made it much easier on all of us. She also got involved in the yearly cancer walk. That made her feel she was contributing somthing of herself.I went to her state the day she did this and watched on the side line holding back tears. Both of her grandmothers also had breast cancer. She was not just walking for me but for our family.This year I will be walking next to my daughter with tears that we both are making a differenc. The best advise i can give; is give your mom that gentel touch of your hand when her eyes are the saddest,a kiss when she is tha happest,and an ear when she needs to express. I feel that the commnication is the most importent thing you can give your mom right now. Sure there's fear but the strength is getting through treatment with each other and family. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.

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