I cannot put into words how much it means to me too finally read about the concerns of other women regarding their emotional and sexual problems since their internal and external radiation treatments. For about a year now I have been reading on this site to hopefully one day find someone out there that is experiencing some of the same problems as I do. I recently was told that most women dont complain of pain with sex after their treatments. But, I'm now validated! It has been a little over 2 years since my treatments with no improvement in regards to sex. Someone mentioned you may never be back to normal again but it could get better. This comment as well as others mentioning how things have improved for them or their wife, has given me hope. I felt my sex life was over and I'm only 30. I have been carrying
a lot of guilt because this of course effects my husband. He has been wonderful though.
I know it's not "my fault" but it has been hard convincing myself of that. Someone mentioned about the treatments being degrading. Degrading is a good way to put it. I am very thankful for the treatments, dont get me wrong. At the time, you have to do what you have to do to survive. However, the internal treatments were a true emotional shock. Waking up from sedation realizing what happened while you were under not knowing "what" the heck got you that way, having to laying there for 36 hours, forbidden to move, being isolated totally alone with these rods crammed where? And people can only enter the room when this machine is cut off and this machine is in you that everyone is so afraid of! It is scary. I just want to say to that person, I understand. I have empathy for you, not sympathy but empathy! We go for follow up's on average of every three months after treatments. These are the "visits" women dread and hate going to just once a year. It makes me sick when I can say, I cannot tell you how many internals I have had. Nor how many people have done internals or exams, etc. I feel violated in away. It's a double-edged sword. You know you have to stay on top of your status but it is rough doing it. Then there of course are the joys of menopause as a result of the loss of your ovaries from the treatment. What a joy. I fully understand why nature has a woman go through menopause later in life instead of early now. I've always heard people laughing about menopause symptoms, issues, but it's not a laughing matter, it's tough. In addition, to top it all off, the medication that you should take to help with menopausal symptoms causes breast cancer. Geesh, can't something give. Nevertheless, this cancer has a big emotional impact, which continues long after treatments. And because of sites like these we can support one another, encourage, validate each other and help pick each other up and dust each other off so we can keep at it, to beat it! I cant thank you all enough for sharing things so private. I have felt so alone for a long time and knowing I'm not alone means so much
Take care and God bless each and every one of you.
Joined: Jan 2004