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Dating Someone Who Has Cancer

arpad
Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 2004

My partner has had cancer for 6 years. I just began dating him a couple of months ago. The irony is that my father died of cancer about 9 years ago, so the cancer never really bothered me. But, I have a hard time when my partner is going through a lot of pain or a hard time, because he is so used to dealing with it by himself that he doesn't completely let me in. I know that he has to deal with it in his own way and that I am new in his life, but I don't know how to not feel a little left out. It's like he wants me to act like nothing is going on, but then he writhes in pain and I feel helpless. Has anyone else out there gotten into a relationship with someone who already had cancer?

casuallyinsane
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi arpad. :) I'm also dating someone who has cancer. My boyfriend was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 2000. It spread to his liver the following year, and now it's in his lungs. He just started hospice care...he's been through so many surgeries and chemotherapy treatments, and his body just can't handle them anymore.
There's a tumor in his left lung that's so large, it's palpable from his back...that tumor is pressing on his spinal cord and recently caused him to lose feeling from the belly button down. He's 27 years old and in a matter of 3 days he's had to deal with becoming a paraplegic with no bowel control. It's been a rough few days on him, and seeing him frustrated and in pain is hard for me, too.
I didn't mean to get all whiney, hehe. If you're ever interested in a chat, my MSN is cha0sbride@hotmail.com

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