bad day

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hillbillycat
hillbillycat Member Posts: 79
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have worn my hair long but when I got chemo I was told to get it cut . Yesterday , I brushed my hair and hair was falling everywhere. I still had enough hair ( since mine was thick hair) to go to work. I drove over to drop some papers off at the chemo building and asked my nurse who helps me if my hair would at least stay thin....She said there was no way. I cried all day. I didn`t go to work...Late in the afternoon ,I tried on my wig and wore it to our cancer group meeting. I felt rediculous but everyone said it looked fine. Still I hate it.Just putting it on correctly is a hassle.

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  • Sandis
    Sandis Member Posts: 85
    #2
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    Wow! I know you you feel. I remember crying when my hair fell out and I got it cut off. Its a blatant reminder that we are dealing with cancer. My chemotherapy is over and my hair is coming back. I will be without the wig soon. I'm not sure that makes it easier when you are dealing with it but I know that each day is easier and I feel better and my hair is growing. Yours will too. But I'll send you a warm hug today. Sandi
  • jolliff
    jolliff Member Posts: 12
    #3
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    This is one of the things my fiancee is not happy at all about. I'd rather have her bald (me, too) for a while and get rid of any straying cells. I've read where a lot of people have shaving parties to avoid the trauma of their hair falling out. I believe, correct me if I am wrong, that doing it yourself gives you at least a little control. I don't know, I am still in shock from today's path report and doctor visit, I think.....
  • cammie
    cammie Member Posts: 102
    #4
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    Oh sweetie, I remember that day. I woke up and my bangs were gone. I looked awful. I had kept my hair for 17 days after the first treatment. I wore my wig from that day forward, and just took it off 3 weeks ago. It is just as hard deciding when to take it off, because it becomes a security blanket. Everyone told me to not make such a big deal about it, (its not about the hair) but for me it was a big deal. I am saying a prayer for you. I remember how hard that was. God bless you! It gets easier to handle putting on and pretty soon it is nice to wash your hair and hang it on the shower head, go to sleep then wake up in the morning and your good to go.
  • DeeNY711
    DeeNY711 Member Posts: 476 Member
    #5
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    It is a rough piece of ground, Kittycats. There are more and more brave women walking around with bald heads during treatment. Anyone with a wig knows exactly what you mean about it feeling ridiculous, but it is very likely that no one else realizes that it is a wig. People in chemotherapy frequently think their own wig looks bogus and everyone else has their own hair, until someone compliments you on your gorgeous hair. It opens a discussion about real vs. illusion guaranteed to bring a smile. Cotton wig liners make wigs a lot more comfortable. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I changed to shorter and shorter hairstyles prior to surgery and treatment, but it did not take any horror out of feeling clumps of wet hair hit me in the back as clumps fell out during every shower until it was gone. You will make it through this, Kittycats. Hugs, Denise
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
    #6
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    cammie said:

    Oh sweetie, I remember that day. I woke up and my bangs were gone. I looked awful. I had kept my hair for 17 days after the first treatment. I wore my wig from that day forward, and just took it off 3 weeks ago. It is just as hard deciding when to take it off, because it becomes a security blanket. Everyone told me to not make such a big deal about it, (its not about the hair) but for me it was a big deal. I am saying a prayer for you. I remember how hard that was. God bless you! It gets easier to handle putting on and pretty soon it is nice to wash your hair and hang it on the shower head, go to sleep then wake up in the morning and your good to go.

    Know JUST how you feel. The only thing that really ever made me feel like I had cancer was not having hair. Then I would feel guilty for being so 'vain', but it is more than vainity. It was a slap in the face reminder everytime I looked in the mirror. I had a wig, wore it one time, couldn't stand it. However, I like Cammie's attitude, wash and go! That's what a lot of this boils down too, attitude. I finally got to where I looked at myself as more of a way to make a 'fashion statement' then as an embarassment. It's kind of fun wearing scarves and hats, caps and turbans.
    I could be 'Miss Scarlet, Aunt Jemima, a tom boy or an African Princess!' Depending on how I felt that day. Crazy I know, but hey, it got me through it. I know you'll find something that will help you get through this also! God bless. hummingbyrd
  • live42day
    live42day Member Posts: 64
    #7
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    I wore a wig to work every day when I lost my hair and after a while you don't even think about it. I work with the public and had so many compliments about my hair it was amusing. I really had a lot of fun with it. Also, once your hair is all gone it is so much easier to put your wig on. Nothing to tuck in. I finished chemo March 2002 and have a full head of hair again. It does grow back!! Also, don't know where you live, but I always took my wig off when I got home and just froze all the time. My boys reminded me that you lose a lot of heat through your head, so I put on hats and it really helped. Hang in there. There is an end in sight.
    Janet
  • krisrey
    krisrey Member Posts: 194
    #8
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    Hi Kittycats,
    I think all the comments so far have been wonderful. I remember that I also got my hair cut shorter and shorter before it started to fall out. I also started to wear a hat places so people started to get use to seeing me with one on before I really needed it. Once it started to clump out, I stood all by myself in the mirror and took the buz to it. I remember thinking how rediculous it seemed to be cutting and buzzing my hair. My kids came home from school, and my husband came home from work and they were proud that I was able to do it and get it over with. I had decided personally that a wig was just not for me. I have been off chemo for 6 weeks and it is growing rather quickly. I went shopping yesterday and just had a baseball cap on, I was in the dressing room waiting for my sister and I walked out to look for her, when I got back in the dressing room and saw I had no hat on! I can't tell you how many times I have done that!
    Just try to remember that this too shall pass (chemo) and you will be getting your hair back soon. I will be keeping you in my prayers.
    Kris
  • hillbillycat
    hillbillycat Member Posts: 79
    #9
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    hummingbyrd said:

    Know JUST how you feel. The only thing that really ever made me feel like I had cancer was not having hair. Then I would feel guilty for being so 'vain', but it is more than vainity. It was a slap in the face reminder everytime I looked in the mirror. I had a wig, wore it one time, couldn't stand it. However, I like Cammie's attitude, wash and go! That's what a lot of this boils down too, attitude. I finally got to where I looked at myself as more of a way to make a 'fashion statement' then as an embarassment. It's kind of fun wearing scarves and hats, caps and turbans.
    I could be 'Miss Scarlet, Aunt Jemima, a tom boy or an African Princess!' Depending on how I felt that day. Crazy I know, but hey, it got me through it. I know you'll find something that will help you get through this also! God bless. hummingbyrd

    Thanks everyone for your replies.It was cute what Hummingbird said about being anyone depending on the mood. I also agree with several others that it is a reminder of what is going on.I guess that is were reality hit me the hardest. As long as I looked the same with my normal hair I didn`t have to think about cancer.Sill....I can`t give in to shaving. Maybe in a few days when there is no other way.My husband already shaved his hair for me.Still ...I hold on tightly to my hair....haha
    I guess I will have plenty of time to practice with my wigs. I think I will like hats better since the wigs give me a feeling of comedy or an unreal feeling....
  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    #10
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    Hi Misskitty, I can tell you from experience that it will grow back. I have lost my hair three times. The second time my son was 4, so my mom took us in the basement and gave us both a crew cut for the summer. My son thought that was cool, and the dew rag on my head was even cooler. Also lost the hair on legs etc. Was the best summer ever!!!!!Didnt have to shave once, and the legs were smooooooooooooth. I know it is shocking, but if you look at it this way......Yours will come back, mens dont..LOL Hang in there misskitty. Smile much Laugh often. Dont give into the cancer, it will be more than happy to accomadate you . HUGS!!! P.S. What a great hubby to shave his head too.
  • Snookums
    Snookums Member Posts: 148
    #11
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    sassysally said:

    Hi Misskitty, I can tell you from experience that it will grow back. I have lost my hair three times. The second time my son was 4, so my mom took us in the basement and gave us both a crew cut for the summer. My son thought that was cool, and the dew rag on my head was even cooler. Also lost the hair on legs etc. Was the best summer ever!!!!!Didnt have to shave once, and the legs were smooooooooooooth. I know it is shocking, but if you look at it this way......Yours will come back, mens dont..LOL Hang in there misskitty. Smile much Laugh often. Dont give into the cancer, it will be more than happy to accomadate you . HUGS!!! P.S. What a great hubby to shave his head too.

    The day I decided my hair was too thin to keep going as usual I surrounded myself with family and my 14 yr old nephew shaved my head. it started out sad but then, he had us laughing as he "styled me". I agree that I never felt more like I had cancer than when I lost my hair. Our bank decided to go to uniforms in early Sept so I decided that was my no wig debut. I had VERY short hair but all my fellow employees were so great. It was funny how many customers had no idea I was wearing a wig so when i "DEBUTED" my look I was so afraid of - um they never noticed. I was glad for that slap of reality. The other fun thing I did was go to Hobby Lobby a local crafts store that has an aisle full of every kind of bandanna you can imagine. Only at work did I wear my wig other times I was the bandanna queen! I did have a great deal of fun with that. Godd Luck and keep hanging on- this too shall pass- OX
  • TylersMom1
    TylersMom1 Member Posts: 57
    #12
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    I know what you are going through and how you are feeling. When my hair started falling out, I had my husband shave my head. I cried during the whole thing and it took me several days before I would let him or my son see me without anything on my head. It was very hard going out in the public in the beginning but then I decided I wasn't going to stop living because of a little hair. I just tried to remember what a nurse said to me, "you are lucky to have chemo and can fight this terrible disease, some people aren't even given this option". From then on, I tried to think of it as a badge of honor. Some days it was easier to look at it that way than others. Just remember, this too will pass and before you know it, your hair will be growing back. It will probably feel like baby hair and be curly. Many women pay good money to have the curly hair we have!!

    I know for myself, I didn't like myself in a wig (plus I found them too hot) and I wore turbines alot.
    God bless and I hope you are feeling better...Cheryl
  • vfmccoy
    vfmccoy Member Posts: 5
    #13
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    Just hang in there. I always wore my hair very short and even I had a problem when mine started to fall out. It felt like straw and just fell in my face, down my back. I finally had my husband buzz it and finally shave it all off. For some reason two little patches of hair on the back of my head grew sort of like Yul Brenner in the Ten Commandments. Loosing my hair was the only visible sign that I was fighting breast cancer and it made it feel so public when I would have much rather had a private fight. But I have almost completed my chemo( 3 more treatments to go) and my hair has already started to grow back. Not very fast but I do have to brush it every day so I do have hair and I can see the light at the end of this tunnel. I chose not to wear a wig but decided on scarves. I have them in all colors with all kinds of decorations. It has worked for me.

    Know that you are not alone. All of us are praying that you continue to be strong in this fight.
  • wingingit
    wingingit Member Posts: 48
    #14
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    I know what you meant by feeling ridiculous the first time wearing a wig. My first wig was a human hair wig which required styling and it did not fit well. After a couple of months, I switched to a synthetic wig (about 1/4 the cost)--just wash and wear-- which worked out great. It must have looked so good that acquaintances have approached me since my natural hair has grown out curly. They want to know if I have a perm--you can imagine their faces when I tell them *No, but I have had it chemically treated!* They quickly try to figure out whether they have seen me in the last year or so, obviously not realizing I have had BC. (Yep, they probably even talked to me up close!) Getting accustomed to wearing a wig does take some time but on days you are feeling lousy, it is wonderful to plop it on your head and just go. Maybe the place that sold it to you can help you with the fitting. Going bald does add insult to injury but just remember to keep a sense a humor and you'll be telling others someday about your bald-headed experiences along with the rest of us. Take care . . .

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