Mad at the Gods!!!

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jake10
jake10 Member Posts: 202
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
A friend of mine was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in the breast about 2 months before I was diagnosed with BC. We have shared our feelings, anger, joy ect.... through it all. Last week she had a biopsey of a lump in the other breast. The surgeon was so sure it was a lymphnode even when she took it out. Well it came back adenocarcinoma. The odds of it showing up again were high the odds of it showing up in her other breast was small.
She has kept such a positive outlook through the first go round with surgery and radiation. Now they will do a CAT and PET scan to see if it is anywhere else. I am venting my anger to you alll because I can't to her. For her I am a sounding board and a voice of reason and friendship through this hard time. But I am mad, mad, mad. If only there was someone to punch, but there isn't. Sometimes life just stinks. Beth

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  • thenexttweety
    thenexttweety Member Posts: 10
    #2
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    I think that's the kind of thing we are here for, Beth! We women especially need someone to whom we can vent occasionally, and somehow strangers have the safest ears! I'm sure your friend appreciates just the support you give her, and we'll try to do the same here when you need to come to us!
  • sandytrif525
    sandytrif525 Member Posts: 106
    #3
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    jake, I was reflecting on this just today. I could either become bitter or better. Then I thought that bitter has an I in it and that is what I would be thinking of if I became bitter. None of us asked for this but we have to stay positive even in the hard times. I know that your friend is happy to have you to be there for her. sandy
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    #4
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    Hi Jake:

    I know. Life isn't fair sometimes. And it can make us angry at just how unfair it can be.

    It's a paradox really. That a woman has to get bc is enough of an injustice. But that she will get it twice, seems a double dose of the "wrath of the gods". But on the flip side, there's this to think about:
    That one good friend gets bc is terrible. That two of them share it, well, it becomes a blessing of sorts. I know, because a very good friend of mine had bc quite a few years ago. I was by her side for much of the experience. I thought I understood the disease. I thought I understood what she was experiencing. My focus was to help her. Yet, she amazed me. She inspired me. She taught me some wonderful lessons. Then, when I was diagnosed, she was there like a favorite, old warm blanket. That she totally understood what I was experiencing was the BEST gift of all. Comforting and reassuring, she still inspires me.

    Your friend and yourself are indeed fortunate to have this special relationship. This special understanding and "knowing", which you can share to the depths of your souls. No one would, by choice, seek out this kind of "knowing" as a great addendum to their friendship. However, it has presented itself and I'm hoping it can serve
    as the blessing it seems (at least to me) to be.

    Still, I know that it's very painful for you to know that she's having to go through this yet again. Venting is good for the soul, so please indulge when you feel the need. There's also a board here for caregivers/loved ones, which you may also find helpful. I can only imagine how you must feel.

    Love, light and laughter,
    Ink
  • jake10
    jake10 Member Posts: 202
    #5
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    Thank you for your responses. A lot to think about. And yes, if I had to get cancer as well it helps to have a good friend who's been there, done that. I liked the warm blanket analogy. I usually look at the bright side of life, glass half full and all that. But every so often I have to get down in the black and wallow. Venting helped make me less angry and my friend is still so positive and seems to be dealing well. Thank You. All prayers for Terri gratefully appreciated. Beth
  • JoanieC
    JoanieC Member Posts: 1
    #6
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    What got my attention was "Mad at the Gods" My mother just came home from surgery today after having a radical breast removal. It never occured to us as a family or my mother to be mad God because I know God will reveal a side of him that we have not seen before. He will allow us to know him in a way we couldn't understand before. As a family we are looking for what wonderful things He has to show us through this trial.
  • MsGoto57
    MsGoto57 Member Posts: 1
    #7
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    I can understand your anger and your need to vent. I'm sure when your were dignois BC you were taken a back needing to breath. But from somewhere deep inside of you you found the strenght to keep positive. And i'm sure your freind has done the same thing and inside she is confuse, angery, scared. since you are the sounding borad maybe you can lose it just once to let her know you are feeling the same thing and she is not alone with her feeling. Please pardon the spelling error no spell check on this.
  • jake10
    jake10 Member Posts: 202
    #8
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    JoanieC said:

    What got my attention was "Mad at the Gods" My mother just came home from surgery today after having a radical breast removal. It never occured to us as a family or my mother to be mad God because I know God will reveal a side of him that we have not seen before. He will allow us to know him in a way we couldn't understand before. As a family we are looking for what wonderful things He has to show us through this trial.

    I didn't mean GOD. I meant the powers of nature, the movers of fate... in short LIFE. It's not fair and then I stamp my feet. That's what I meant Not GOD. Beth

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