It's Back

maryinoly · April 2003

Hello. I'm new to this site. Just this morning I got the word on my biopsy. The breast cancer I thought I beat 8 years ago is now in my other breast. I guess it's the same, I don't know yet for sure. Eight years ago I had stage 3A cancer, did lumpectomy, radiation, conventional chemo, hi-dose chemo and a stem cell transplant, as well as a clinical trial (ironically for a possible breast cancer vaccine). I'm just devastated that after 8 years I have to face this all over again. I badly need some words of hope and support from long-time survivors who have experienced reoccurence. Its hit me so much harder this time. I'm a fighter, but I'm having trouble today getting myself to rally. I am just so sad, and so disappointed. I have a wonderfully supportive family and husband, and good friends who helped me through the last time. How do I tell them I'm battling this again? How do I ask their help again? How do I live with this cloud over me? How do I get through it again? I've had so much chemo, can I tolerate more? I'm only 47. Will I see 50? It's so very hard to believe it's back. I know this is the worst period - between diagnosis and treatment, and I've got to wait until next week to see my oncologist and surgeon. But I sure could use a pep talk to get me through the weekend. My thanks to all who give their time and inspiration to people like me. I really need some today.

bunnie · April 2003

sorry to hear that it is back.I know that is one of my biggest fears of it coming back.I had mastecomyon the 23 of jan and just about done with chemo.YOu got throught it once though so dont give up you can doit again.All of our thoughts and prayers are with you.Bunnie

banker · April 2003

Hi,I can understand your fear and sadness,it seems you had done everything in your power and what you thought was right and here it is again. But the doctors say there is no guarantee, but there is hope. You were strong the first time around and God will give you the strength to go through it again. You are still young and I believe you will see 50. Focus on today and after you talk to your oncologist he will assure you a treatment, don't give up now , you seem to have a good support group by your side and there is this web-site, we will try to help you get through this also. Yes it is awful and we wonder why?? Then the spirit kicks in and we start to fight again. I felt this way too. Was Dx in June 98, had mastectomy, 6 mo of chemo, July 99, tram flap reconstruction. All was going well, until Feb. 02. Routine mammogram, a spot in my other breast. Only mine was a new primary. Lumpectomy, 34 Rads and 6 mo chemo. I was devastated, took a good 2 weeks and then some to get myself into a fighting mood, but I did it. Its behind me, I am fine. You will be too. We all get nervous going for our check ups and mammos and take it all in stride and hope all will be well. When it is we are jubilant, when it is not we are sad.It is just another bump in the road. You have done it before, you will make it again. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you will keep us posted here. Lots of love and ((hugs)) coming your way.. hang in there... emmi

sandytrif525 · April 2003

Hi, Although I have not had a reoccurance, I wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you. I can only imagine what you feel. Like a big kick in the stomach. Things have changed in the 8 years, so much improvement. I know that the people around you will rally again and help you out. Keep us updated on how you make out. Will be praying for you. Sandy

debl · April 2003

dear Maryinoly,
i am so sorry to hear about your results. I know what it feels like to get those kind of results again too. the first time i was 43&the second time i was49. i am now 52& in remisson. it will be a year since my last chemo may 8th! at the time i didn't think id make it,i had been so strong the first time, just didnt seem to be able to find it. but some where along the line it found me..through the the love& prayers of others. so hang on we,ll find you!!love&prayers
debL

Survior · April 2003

I am so sorry to hear that your cancer is back. From your post, you beat it once, you can do it again. Get mad, fight it. I also said if the cancer was going to get me, it would have to run real fast, because I was not going to let it win.
I will keep you and all of us cancer surviors in my prayers. Your family was there once, they will do it again. Good Luck and God Bless

nasa2537 · April 2003

Hi...I think recurrence is the biggest fear we all have. Dig deep into yourself, and be determined to beat it again. You did it once, and while it was, I'm sure, difficult, you CAN do it again!!! You WILL do it again, and you will be a stronger person for it. Talk openly with your whole support system...they need to know how you're feeling so they can help you, and I truly believe it helps them to know how you feel...I think it helps to validate their own feelings. Turn that sadness and disappointment into anger and get tough with this blasted disease!!!! You WILL conquer!!! God bless, Cyndi

bettyg · April 2003

Okay girl, I am 8 years 3 months out, and found out three days before Halloween its back. How do you find the backbone to start over? It's very tough all I can tell you is a statement my mom used to tell me. You've got a backbone, you've just got to reach down into the depths of your heart and soul and grab it and hold on. I have a great support group too, husband and children and friends. But its tough. You don't want to be a burden and how do you learn to slow down. Everyone telling you to take time for you. But for so many years you took care of everyone else. Pick up your chin and dust yourself off, you did it before, you can do it again.

It's Back

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