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need some advice

chemocat89
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2002

I'm 13 and have had ALL leukemia for the past 3 years. I'm having soooooooo much trouble with kids in school calling me "cancer b****" and "caytlin's cancer club" and all sorts of rude things. My mom says to ignore it but how can i when i am in school and people are constantly saying these things about me. even the poeple at my school try to help but they arent very succesful. if anyone could help e-mail me. youneeklycute911@aol.com

Thank You

tom_s
Posts: 19
Joined: Feb 2001

Hello,
I don't know if it will be of much use to you, but anyway. People are often afraid of things they don't know, where something is different and as a result they degrade it, as your classmates are doing with you. What you could try to do, I don't know if the school will co-operate, or if you might be a bit late, is to arrange that there are classes where cancer/leukaemia are explained. I was 9 when I had ALL, a bit younger than what you were when you were diagnosed, and shortly after the diagnosis the mothers of two friends/classmates went to my school and to my class to explain to the others in my class what was wrong. As a result, when I returned to school, there were no questions asked, as everyone knew. But, and this is probably where it is more difficult, I was then still in primary school, and came off treatment just before I started secondary school, so when I was there I only had to go for check-ups, which of course are much easier to explain.
Well, I hope this helps, and otherwise you can always ignore it :-)
take care
Tom

Rex
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2002

Hello,

I was 14 when I was diagnosed with ALL, I know exactly what you are going through. As Tom stated in his message, people fear what they dont know...I was called every name in the book, the trick for me was confronting them. You'll find that when you call there bluff and explain to them that your life is already hell without their help, they usually come around and some even become a good friend. My mother said the same thing your mother says, but it is true!! Unfortunately there is no cure for ignorance, but keep your head up and remember you are stronger than any kid in that school!!!

Good Luck!

Rex

sorcharose
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2002

Hi, I am a 19 year ALL surivor (age 25). I still had many check-ups to attend and many on-going side effects as well to deal with, while I was in grade school. I can remember how cruel and nasty school children treated me. They did not understand and they did not really care. It hurt!!! Sometimes I would skip class and hide in the bathroom crying while attempting to gather my strength to go back out for more ridiculing/ taunting/ teasing. It wasn't easy. However, I have often wished that someone had told me these next few words. WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU simply DOES NOT MATTER!! It dosen't make it easier to face everyday but it is the honest truth!! Try letting their ignorance empower you, rather than depress and anger you. Sorta like "Don't get mad get even." Prove to yourself that you are better than their "garbage talk". It's not an easy thing to do but you won't be able to stop nor change them. Thus you have to tap into your inner strength reserves :) I wish you great joy and miles of a positive heart and mind. (If all else fails, get out your water guns and give some of those wonderful people a free shower.....That's another tactic you can employ, major amounts of humor!! Just laugh it off, and focus on what's really important for you and your life. :) If you laugh, they will never win. Often, they want to make you feel inferior to make themselves feel less inadaquate themselves. In other words the ones who taunt you are often the weakest on the inside. You are much stronger than them, so...know it, believe it and live it..... and good luck to you :)!!!!

sorcharose

Please feel free to contact me under (sorcharose) in the user directory on this sight

chiquita28
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2003

hello, I was 15 when I was diagnosed with all. I know what you're going trough. I am 27 now, I have been in remition for a while now, but I will never forget when I was in school playing a volleyballl game and the ball hit me in my head and my wig came off. The whole school saw it, and everybody saw my head...so I pick up the wig put it back on and kept playing. I new that everybody was talking about it and a lot of people made fun of me. It was very hard for me. But I told my self that it was ok, because those kids did not underestand what was wrong with me. I knew what was wrong and I knew that it was going to be ok.
So I decided that if they were going to make fun of me then I was going to do the same thing!! So every time I heard someone making fun of me I made fun of them. I would come up with anything...I told them so what i have a wig because I'm sick but i'm going to get well and my hair is going to grow again, but your nose or you ears or whatever is big and ugly and it is always going to be like that! and then kids did not make fun of me anymore because they understood that nobody is perfect...so you do not have do the same thing I did but I hope it helps you underestand that you are not the only one that has gone through this things, kids are very cruel when they do not underestand or when they see something different. if you want to chat or if you have any question you can contact me my sceen name is Chiquita28.Good luck, and get well. Ana

Mscortney
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2003

You are a brave and beautiful young woman. More so than any of those rude kids at your school. As a survivor of ALL myself, i remember having those same problems. What helped me was I knew in my heart I was 10 times the human being any of those kids (and many adults) would ever be. I stayed near those I could trust and i wasn't afraid to ask for help or find a trusting person to talk to. Please remember that you are not alone, that many of us here at this site know what you are feeling. My heart goes out to you. Always hold your head high and never feel ashamed of the blessing that you are. Kids can be cruel and I am sure many of the kids just don't know how to approach you. After all, how does one approach a walking miracle.

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