Jun 23, 2002 - 1:52 pm
Hi. My name is Linda, and am being treated for Stage 11a breast ca. I had my lumpectomy and 32 lymph nodes and setinal node bx 2 weeks ago. I am going in for my oncology consults this week. I am done being "in shock", but now in the anger and depression phase I guess. Not a whole lot of people can understand how I feel ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT with this. It's not as if I had my dx and surgery, and will being having txs soon that's it. No, I wake up everyday, thinking "Dear Lord, I have breast cancer. This is real. This did not get surgically removed and life goes on as usual. I have no idea if it has spread, where, if all of the txs will work as "they think" they will, will I be around in 20 years? Should I stop thinking these things? How? How do you turn it off. How? I have faith in the Lord and a great support system with family, church members, co-workers, friends, but I can't seem to get through all of this. There are times that I can, but mostly I am having alot of trouble with this. I am trying to keep my chin up around my 2 sons (10 yrs and 21 yrs of age), and my hubby of 27 years (although I think he'll agree that I do a pretty decent job in showing my emotions with him). Anyway, please, please, please help, anyone. At this point, I feel overwelmed, frighted, angry, depressed, numb and now questioning my surgeon about all of this. I feel like as if he has withheld some info that he should have told me. I am the type of person that needs to know it all. Nothing held back, that's the only way I know to intelligently make the right decision. Or at least the best decision that I think is right. Again, if anyone can help with suggestions, direction, encouragements, etc. please help.