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Colon cancer and problems

calvin5734
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2002

I had colon cancer operated on and radiation and I'm going through a bad time Depression and feel usefulness none I don't want to do anything I can't sleep but I'm always tired when they found out about the cancer I had just gone through four bypasses and came along good but this I can't seem to get over I feel that i can't do anything and my spouse can't under stand how I feel and I feel that if I could start doing things I want to paint the house and I look at it and I say tomorrow and tomorrow nevercomes I just don't know
Calvin5734

vicmier
Posts: 10
Joined: Apr 2002

I am sorry to say but in my case my spouse never understood. It is one of those things that "you have to go through" to understand. Or "try being in my shoes for a day" They just wont understand. As for your depression, I cant help you there, but if the spouse deal is part of it, just try to educate them on what the process is. If they have knowledge about what is going on, they might ease up a little more. My wife went to diffrent support groups to try to understand what I was going thru, well no one in the group was a cancer patient. They were affected by it, being someone they knew etc. but not directly. So she was leaving me thinking that I was using this as an excuse and that I shouldnt be feeling the way I was. BS!!
There is no other motivation than yourself. Get out there and do things.

novatocabruce
Posts: 19
Joined: May 2002

This battle is on two fronts: physical and psychological. If your spouse cares about you (which she clearly does), she'll have psychological challenges, too.

You've been through a lot. It seems like it's one thing after another and no end is in sight. Well, that's the negative psychological stuff. You do have a choice about how you deal with it. She'll take her cues from you.

I've been through chemo/radiation, three surgeries, and now am on chemo again. I try and keep busy and positive (not always easy) and it helps with the physical symptoms. I'm 44 and want my old life back. In due time, it will. It's hard to be patient, but people love me and care about me. Knowing that people care about me is huge and helps to motivate me. I've got about 4 more months of chemo (three types) to deal with, then about a year of recovery.

It sounds like you may need some help in changing your perspective. Your wife loves you and is probably afraid. Don't paint the house. Your job is to get through this. From what I've learned, it takes about 1+ years after completing the treatment to start feeling normal. Take your time. Find a diversion that is comforting and familiar. As best as you're able, try and give your wife a positive message.

I wish there were a magic pill that we could all take.

I wish you well.

Bruce

taunya's picture
taunya
Posts: 392
Joined: Jul 2002

Hang in there. Just because we have cancer it doesn't mean other bad things won't keep happening. Life flows on in it's own way. I hate it that you are so down. keep you faith in life close to your heart. You have a heavy burden, but you can make it. I have cancer too.

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