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new to the group...hello!!

Posts: 11
Joined: May 2002

Hi everyone....I only just found this site today and I desperately need to talk to people. My husband has incurable prostate cancer that has started growing like mad. He was given 6 months to three years..that was two and a half years ago. I am abo****ely obsessed with it.....I just can't stop reading about it every spare second I get...you know...looking for the answer to the six million dollar question.....WHEN? I am so afraid of losing him I think I shall go mad. In fact I think I am going mad......does everyone feel this way?? We have a really important decision to make regarding treatment next month....which he is refusing. If he refuses it he will die...if he takes it..his quality will be so diminished he will wish he would die...but he's going to die anyway.... He looks to me for all the answers because he knows I have researched the cancer.
I am very confused and my emotions are in turmoil.....should I encourage him to take the treatment or not....? Can anyone offer any advice..please..thankyou!!

Posts: 1
Joined: May 2002

I wouldn't dream of giving you advice on what to do. My wife has an incurable lung cancer. She was given two to five years, that was two and a half years ago. She has gone through two complete sesions of intense chemo with all the bad side effects that go along with them. The third treatment she wasn't able to stay on due to it's side effects.

We made the decision to have her enjoy what life she has, without the complications of the chemo treatments. This is not an easy choice to make. My wife was torn between feeling like taking chemo was a way to fight the cancer and trying to decide if life would be better without it. It is important to say in telling you this story, that the doctors can not give us any better than a ten to twenty percent chance that any of these treatments will have an effect on her cancer. This for me made the decision somewhat easier. It was just not worth it.

I do not want to give you advice on what to do in your situation. But perhaps telling you about our decision may give you some comfort.

Good Luck and try to stay strong, I know how difficult that can be.

Posts: 11
Joined: May 2002

Hi fearless

What a great name under the circumstances! Thankyou for replying and yes...your story has been very helpful. The doctors have said treatment will probably not effect his overall survival time.....so he thinks what is the point in going through the distresses and discomforts that treatment will bring. I am sorry about your wife and I do hope she is as well as can be...send her my love even though she doesn't know me...and I send you my love too....to help you through your own hard times. Thanks once again Fearless.....and I wish you all peace!
love Jez xxx

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