May 10, 2002 - 12:37 am
I finished my final treatment for breast cancer on 01/10/2002. My hair is coming back nicely and full and curly. Things are getting back to normal except for what they call chemo/radiation recall in my breast that had the cancer. It is twice the size of the other one and nothing is helping. My problem now is depression. I found exactly who really cares for me and it wasn't my boyfriend after 1 1/2 yrs. I was diagnosed with cancer 2 months after we met. I feel so overloaded with work and personal life and I feel I am sinking down further. I try to think about what I went through and to be happy that I am alive but I feel that I really don't care. My 12 yr old son even said to me today, "mom, you are all jacked up, what is wrong with you" I think now that I am done with treatment I have to deal with the realities of life and I was never good with that anyway. The cancer gave me something to think about and work on and now it's back to the game of life. Guess I just need some works of encouragement. I have been through alot with 9 surgeries of various things including a recent knee surgery in the last 10 years. I am 41 yrs old and I just need someone to tell me that it will be okay. I can't quit smoking and when I,m alone I drink. Thanks for your time. I am glad to be a BC survivor, really I am.