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late diagnosis because of denial!

ejprojects
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 2002

my girlfriend just got biopsyed(sp?) she waited WAY TOO LONG!!!! she noticed lumps a year ago. i've known her for about 8 months.
she did a good job of hiding it from not only me but herself as well. (denial!)
i finally said she ought to get checked because her breasts were harder than normal breasts. i'm very afraid for her. one nipple has sort of collapsed and the skin on that same breast is scaly and there is also a sore
that won't heal. i thought that she was having a problem with some kind of cosmetic implant, and i didn't want to embarrass her so i said nothing at first. stupid me!!
stupid her!!! now we are awaiting results but it doesn't look good. most probably a double simple masectomy plus she has swollen lymph nodes in her armpit and neck. you will all be happy to know that i held her hand while they removed tissue from her breasts
for the biop. what could she have possibly been thinking????? for all i know shes a gonner. i think i'll get that lump on the roof of my mouth checked!!! please respond!

debw
Posts: 109
Joined: Dec 2000

Not to be rude - but is this for real?

ejprojects
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 2002

yes, this is for real unfortunatly

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

hi there, the thought of cancer or even the very existence of cancer is a very frightening thing, many people hide from the truth and even more people face it head on. Either way there is no right or wrong way only "your" way, we are not here to judge, we are here to offer support and encouragement. Tell your girlfriend to keep her chin up and know that God will guide her course, even if the journey is short it is still a blessing to have had the journey at all. As for you, get that lump checked and get me posted on both you and your girlfriend's progress.
A new friend from Philly,
LaVerne

ejprojects
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 2002

laverne,
thank you for your response. this web site
is proving to be helpful already! we get the results back 4/1 or 4/2. this week has been crazy. first, i find out that my insurance is paying for my totaled car after all and my girlfriend most probably needs serious surgery and my mother (63 years old) tells me yesterday that she is getting married!
i dont remember paying for this roller coaster ride. thanks again for listening. eric

shirlann
Posts: 235
Joined: Oct 2001

Hi, Eric, it does no good now to worry about what might have been. You must just go on forward and follow the docs advice and, please, no recriminations for you or for her. Many people, especially in the past, just couldn't handle the thought of anything wrong with their breasts, the newer thinking is really new. Be with her and comfort her, congratulate your Mom, and keep a level head. Buy Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, you can get it on line from Amazon.com or from Borders.com, read it, and you will understand a lot more. Also, buy an inexpensive tape recorder and take it with you to hear the results, ask the docs permission, they do not mind, and you won't have to try and remember everything they say. My husband and I ended up arguing about what we heard, we were so unnerved, we were both nuts. With God's help, your result will be B9, but, if not, so many women are living long, long lives, even with advanced cancers. No one knows for sure if you have a big, lazy cancer that has been there for years, or if it has advanced, that chemo and radiation will shrink it quit well. Also, since you do not have a diagnosis, she may be suffering some kind of infection? Always a possibility at this point. God bless you both, and let us know what happends tomorrow. Love, Shirlann

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

hang in there, the fact that you reached out for help let's me know that you are stronger than you think. Way to go,Mom!!!! Please post and let us know about the results and know that you both are in my prayers. I too am having car issues so I can definitely relate. Always an ear for you here :)
LaVerne

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