Jan 04, 2002 - 3:20 pm
My mother died this past Sept. 3rd, of metastatic cancer that had devoured 90% of her liver before her doctors noticed it. She was treated two years ago with radiation for mouth cancer that had re-appeared in one lymph node in her neck. (Her primary tumor had been removed two years before that.)
She lived less than six weeks after the diagnosis. My whole family came together to care for her at home, with help from home hospice, but I found it agony. I felt like such a rank amateur, and kept feeling that it would have been better for mother if we had more skilled care available for her, but it seems she died the way she had wanted to.
It's been four months, and I'm only now beginning to accept the fact that she's gone. I haven't gone one day without thinking of her, and don't know if I ever will. (I think of her more often now than I did when she was alive...)
Is anyone out there experiencing similar feelings?