Sep 18, 2001 - 7:13 pm
It is a long story, but I will try to cut it short. My husband's father, whom he absolutely adores and is his mentor in life was just diagnosed 2 days ago with Acute Leukemia. He is from a family of 6 children and they all ran to his aid to give support and love. At this point we know nothing. My husband and I have been married for 7 plus years and have two children with one on the way. I felt completely shut off the minute one of his siblings called him. He took off and nicely I was told I should stay home with the children. I was devastated, not only because I wanted to see his father to show my love and support, but to also be with my husband in his time of need. He is home with his six siblings and mother. He plans to stay the whole week there and possibly more. I am welcome to come visit, but our children are not to disturb him and he will not lift a finger to help me with them or deal with them at all I am told (they are small toddlers). He is our sole income as a teacher and we just moved to a new city, knowing no one, and he has a brand new job. He is allowed 12 paid days, he is using 5 at this point. I am most concerned about his father, but also feel he has responsibilities and can not put his life on hold completely and forever. He has told me he is taking it week to week, but if his father is told he only has so long to live, my husband plans to move back, as with all the children, whom are married, etc. No one lives in the same town and we are the closest with a 13 hour drive. I assume he will leave his job and us behind........ It is early and reason tells me he will start to think with reason, but his family is odd in many ways and I am nervous he plans to do this and be gone from our lives......... Is it common for people/children of cancer patients to react this strongly and to give up their own lives to wait and watch him either live or die?? I know this sounds selfish and somewhat cold, but I risk losing not only my father-in-law, but my husband, marriage, children's father, etc. He has shut me out with no cause and fled home to family. I can't sleep, eat, and have a nervous feeling, headache, literally sick over what has happened to his father and what may happen to all our lives. Should I be patient and not worry about him coming around to some sensibility?? Please give me advice no matter what you have to say. If you feel I am wrong in my thinking, please honestly tell me, if my concerns are valid, please share. Any response would be helpful from someone who has gone through something similar. I thank you.