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What to expect?

butrfly
Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2001

My Mums was diagnoised with lung cancer that had spread to the brain. I was terrifed then (jan.18)she took the treatments.Was doing great (or so I thought). We went back to "see" how everything was going. NOW,there are at least 20 new tumors in her left lung,it was clear before in march.also it has spread very aggressivly to her liver also. I don't have any idea how to deal with this diaster.I have NO clue what to look for. Can someone who's gone through this or is going through this PLEASE,help me to know what to expect. The Dr.doesn't give any info, he's very vauge in his answers.What happens when the cancer gets in the liver? How could so many show up in her left lung,when there wasn't any in there or her liver in the March xrays? Any help would be very apprciated. Please feel free to e-mail me @ vshumate@mindspring.com I thought I was doing okay until last nite I COULDNOT stop crying. I really scared myself. So any thoughts,ideas on what to do would be so appriciated.

lauramarie's picture
lauramarie
Posts: 39
Joined: May 2001

Hello butrfly....
I don't know how much help I can be but I thought you needed to have someone respond to your call for help. You might trying to talk to the doctor alone. I mean with out your mum there they might be willing to be a bit more open with you and other family members. Sometimes they fear telling the paitent too much because it's very overwhelming. I know from the little reading I have done that mets to the liver is not good news at all. I always think a good amount of communication helps families. It's ok to say out loud you are scared and you fear what is going to happen. And it surely is ok to cry. I think we all have had a few days of crying. It's good for the soul and for the body to let loose and have a good cry. My best advise is to cherih each day you have with your mum and your family. Take the time to spend some special time with her. Weather it be making a meal, walking in the garden or looking at old pictures. Those are the really special times in our lives. I love when my family all has dinner together and we are all joking and goofing off.. I try to remember to stop and think.... thank you god for this time here and now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please email me if you want to chat more.
Laura

butrfly
Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2001

lauriemarie,I would really like "chat" with you you seem to kinda understand what I'm going through.I wouldve e-mailed you personally but I couldn't find you e address.My E-mail address is
vshumate@mindspring.com hope to here from you or anybody really

susiern
Posts: 10
Joined: Jun 2001

ok here goes, I can't explain how it came back when things looked good, Sometimes I don't think the doctor knows either, and doctors are known for not giving information thats something no one takes the time to teach them is good bedside manners. Go to the nurses, they know more than they get credit for, for they are the true caregivers, and they have that bedside manner, I know for a fact, I'm a nurse. I am in a different field than oncology so I wouldn't trust myself to give you the answers you seek. I do encourage you with all my heart to find the nurses, they are trained in that area and I am trained in mine, they work with pts for the whole time they are at work not just for a few minutes a day. They will help you with everything. What you need to do right now is be there for your mom, she needs you to be strong like she has always been for you. Help her not to be afraid to leave you when its time. Thats what she is worring about. I also know this for I lost my mom 3 years ago, I feel and know your pain and anger that you are feeling. I know the thoughts you think like how could this be happening, and how you wonder how you can deal with it when you feel your whole life has been turned upside down in one second. everything changed,nothing seems real. Please do me one favor, seek out a support group for that is what I didn't do for I thought I could deal with it, well I was wrong, it would of saved me lots of ugly bad days alone
be there for her no matter how horrible it feels, be there for her, thats the best thing you can give her, help her to let go
. After 3 years I realize now that my mom never really left me I just can't see her like I could before but she is closer than before. someday you will understand what this means. let her know that you will be ok,for that what she is worried about. thats a mothers love...sue

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