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In Treatment - Calm My Nerves Please

rstleshrt
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2001

My mom was just diagnosed the end of Feb., had her first treatment 4/3/01 of chemo (taxol and amerubicine(sp?)) I've done so much reading and I want to know - is it normal for her to be in such denial? She doesn't deal with it until she has an appt. or has to speak about it. She experiences panic attacks when she does have to face it. How did any of you break through that phase? Did you at all? Is there anything I can do to encourage her to grieve? Is it better that she doesn't?

I'm 29 and she's 51. We've never experienced this before, she's never had it in her family. I'm really trying to find some support so I can support her at this time. Can anyone recommend books, groups, etc?

I'm desperate for some support, can you tell?

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

First of all, what type of cancer does she have? Did she have any surgery? I had panic attacks so bad at first that I could not eat. I would try to swallow but my throat would close up. Finally, I broke down, cried my heart out for days, then went on Paxcil for depression and Ativan for the panic attacks and now am pretty normal.(As normal as I can possibly ever be anyway!)
Go through some of our posts and find some encouraging ones and print them off for her to read. Some of us on here have it bad, but you would never know it by our strong spirits. It is very hard to accept, but will make the fight easier. you cannot change what is, so dont worry about it. We are all fighting this together,supporting each other,crying with each other,and laughing together. I for one, would have gone insane without this site. When I found it,it was my salvation.It is so wonderful to be able to pour your emotions out and have other people actually understand what you are going through. These ladies are my family.This site is my support group.If I feel blue I let them know and boom!! many messages of support come through and I feel so much better. Try and get your mom to open up, or cry and voice her fears, but most of all try and get her on here, we can help her in so many different ways.Fight the Good Fight.
Stay strong and smile.
Hugs from Tiger

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

Your mother is very fortunate to have you on her side. Sometimes just being there is more than enough. People are always looking to say the right thing and words are all to often not necessary, your presence is. Denial is apart of this disease and maybe sharing this sight would help to open your mother's eyes.

sueholm's picture
sueholm
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2000

hi...I suspect that your mother thinks this cancer she has is a death sentence...and that is why she is so terrified....so somehow try to get it thru to her that breast cancer is the best cancer to have...it is not a fatal disease any more....even if you have to talk across her at times to tell someone else how fortunate she is not to have a fatal illness...anything until she hears it......then I think the next best thing is to let her set the agenda...when yu are with her deliberately hold your tongue...leave space for her to start to talk....some people need more room to begin to open up. for when the time does when she talks, and she will, tell her about me...I am 56, was diagnosed last october...have had two operations, chemo and now have radiation to come to finish off the treatments....then I will be doing my garden,,,looking after my business, planning a trip to my daughter's and just getting on with life. Fear is ignorance...it always is....perhaps you could share with her how you are feeling too....dont tell us, tell her...no mother can resist a child in distess! let us know how it goes...see if you can get your mum here...there are some wonderful people here...with wonderful stories...love susan in canada

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