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been brave so far but getting tired from the weight

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

I was diagnosed in October 2000. Had a lumpectomy with 14 lymph nodes removed of which 13 had cancer. Started chemo (AC) in November and just had my second dose of taxol (2 more to go). There was plenty of people around me after the initial diagnosis but ears and calls have been scarce lately, I don't want to seem like I need help but I could really use a little attention. will this ever be truly over.

apryl
Posts: 15
Joined: Apr 2001

yes, let me assure you that it will be over sooner than you think! i started treatment in june 2000 and just finished last friday. it is glorious. i thought i would not ever make it to the end, thank god i am here. (my hair is even coming in). i was the worst at all of it, but i did it. (my doctor nicknamed me the queen of nausea). it is worth it to know you did everything you humanly could do and the rest is in God's hands. keep running the race. i am on your side & i am rooting for you...love, april p.s. i have not been told i am cancer-free, i am just through with the treatments.

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

sorry that I am just replying to your message, new to the site and just figured out how to reply. It has been over a month since this initial message and I am feeling better about things. My last treatment will be this Monday and thanks to my "chemo" angel and "card" angel my attitude is more positive. God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. Love,LaVerne

judyd
Posts: 130
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi, I don't know why people are so good right at first but then like you said they disappear. I think a lot of times people just don't know what to do or say so they just do nothing which is worse. It's not that they don't think of you they just don't know what to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes you may have to make that first step. A lot of people want to help & that really makes them feel good to know they are doing something to help you. I always want to do for everyone else but I sure have a hard time having to accept help but sometimes that's just the way it is. Good luck to you. I will keep you in my prayers. Judy

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

thanks Judy for the reply. I just figured out how to "use" this site. It has been a month since this initial message and I am feeling more positive. I agree with you about how people act and I have learned to ask for help. I too am like you and accepting help is hard for me but giving is easy. God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. Love, LaVerne

luella
Posts: 26
Joined: Mar 2001

Laverne,

I was having the same feelings as you last week when I found this website. I also just had my second treatment of Taxol today. When will you be done with your? Did you find a way to deal with muscle aches? If my count stays up my last Taxol will be May 15th God willing. Everyone told me support groups really help at a time when you feel everyone has fogotten about you. I think people that are going through the same thing are so much more understanding. Stay positive and it will all be over before you know it. We got this far, another month is all we have to go TO KICK THIS IN THE BUTT. YEAH! God Bless and keep your chin up.

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

thanks for the reply. I just figured out how to "use" this site. I have my last treatment on the 7th of May and I am feeling much more positive since my initial message. I too have found some really wonderful support groups and thanks to chemo angels I am no longer depressed. Take care and I will be thinking of you on the 15th. I have found that hot showers help with the muscle aches. God Bless and I will keep you in my prayers. Love, LaVerne

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Hi there
You are right. Everyone is buzzing around you when first diagnosed & then after a few weeks a lot of them stop calling. It hurts but do try to realise that a lot of them don't know how to cope with the very word cancer. They feel desperately sorry for you but mostly they feel guilt. Yes guilt that they have a deep down feeling that they are so glad it isn't them that have it. I am in recurrence after 20 years so have ben down this road twice now & the reaction from friends was the same. Some stick with you all the way others fade away. Being able to do something for you is often very good for them. My best friend tells me she always feels so helpless & when I ask her to do something (like drive me to the hospital for a treatment) she is just so glad to be able to do something. Also I think we become very insular when we are diagnosed & talk about it a lot which either scares people or eventually bores them. It is important to keep a rounded perspective on life & try to keep up other interests to avoid this being so wound up in ourselves that we turn people off. That's why this site is so good. We are all selfish here but also very giving. We can talk to each other about our disease & know we have sympathetic ears. Hope some of my rambling helps. Hang on in there with your treatment & when you have finished believe me you do go back to a normal life. I did for 20 years before it hit again but many people do survive this & that's what we all are - Survivors. Best of luck to you. Love. Pam

laverne
Posts: 75
Joined: Apr 2001

Pam, thanks for the reply. I just figured out how to "use" this site that's why there is such a gap in when I initially wrote the message and my reply to you. I am doing much better now. I have my last treatment on Monday the 7th. I start radiation the beginning of June and then after 6 weeks of that I start Tamoxifen. I have encountered so many wonderful sites and groups that have helped me get to where I am now. I give my friends a little space and if I really need something I am learning to "ask". God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.
Love,
LaVerne

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