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Just Diagnosed

mommy2twinz1
Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2001

Hi everyone. I was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and will see a doctor at MD Anderson Wednesday. I have stage 3 and everything I am reading and my one encounter with a doctor has given me very little hope. I am generally a very positive person and I hate being this way and being so afraid. I am looking for support and friends. I have 2 and a half year old twins and I am also concerned about how this will affect them as well as my husband.

maggie's picture
maggie
Posts: 77
Joined: Sep 2000

Hi! I'm Maggie. You have come to the right place for support and friends. I too, was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer in Aug. 1999. AT the time I my children were 7 years old and 2 months old. It is tough, but you must never give up Hope. Always stay positive and remember that God is in control. I will remember you and your family in my prayers. Please keep in touch. Hugs and smiles Maggie

ondine19572
Posts: 15
Joined: Dec 2000

Hi - I was dx last year with ductal carcinoma in situ - I went thru 6 weeks radiation, 2 surgeries and am doing fine now. Please be positive and do not give up hope - my cousine was dx with very aggresive breast cancer 30 years ago! - they gave her one year to live - here she is 30 years later completely cancer free. We are all here for you - keep strong, Nancy

webaur
Posts: 114
Joined: Feb 2001

Hi! Welcome.

I certainly do know how you feel. I was diagnosed with Stage 3A on January 23. At the time, my youngest was just about 5 mos. old. I have three older children (girls--- 18 and 15; and a son--12). I won't go into the details of my diagnosis now, but if you are interested, please read my first post from 2/20. I, too, was pretty discouraged after reading the statistics for this stage of cancer---just remember, everyone is different. A positive attitude is necessary---as is a strong will to live in order to see your twins grow up. My baby is my main reason to keep getting up and going every day---that's not to say that the rest of the family isn't, but I had a fear of dying before my baby was old enough to remember me. I am still scared, but that is normal.

Getting back to you, though. Have you had surgery yet? If so, what type and how are you feeling? If not, will you be having surgery and what type? Go back and read some of the posts from Tiger---her doctor didn't give her much hope but here she is over a year later....still going. How has your husband? What type of support do you have? (i.e., family, church, friends) Be sure to take someone--your husband if possible--to your doctor appointments so that you have another set of ears to hear what is being said. Also, write down any and ALL questions that you may have and ask them. As for the statistics, well, just remember that those are based on cases from 5 years ago----treatments have come a long way in the last few years. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!!! Be determined that YOU WILL SURVIVE this. Your children will fell something is up, but just remember to love them every chance you get--it'll help to reassure them and it will give you strength....I have gained so much strength from hugging my children. As for your husband, cling to him. Hopefully, you will be able to face this beast together and become stronger for it. I was so worried about not being a "whole" woman any more (I am still ashamed of my appearance and don't let my husband see me without clothes, etc.) He has really been terrific--a real rock!! He constantly reassuraes me that he can live with my "disfigurement"---he saw me when they changed the bandages before I left the hospital---before I could even look at myself---and looked into my eyes and told me that he could live with it. I guess what I am trying to say, is don't underestimate your husband. Hopefully, he will be strong enough for the two of you. The only other thing I can say is to put your faith in God---as Maggie said, "God is in Control". Trust in Him for the future. Here is also a phrase that I have told to many of the ladies on this site.....it certainly helps me to stay focused.....my pastor said this in a sermon a few weeks before I knew I had cancer---"Live every day as if it were your last, but believe you will live forever."

I hope that my rambling has helped some. Please feel free to e-mail me through this site if you would like to talk further. Also, please continue to post here. Believe me, it will help!!! We are all here for you and pray for your strength in fighting the battle that lies ahead. Keep up posted. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings......Wendy

nancys
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2000

Just read your post and I know you are filled with anxiety and fear of what lies ahead for you and your family. How fortunate you are to be in Houston near MD Anderson. They will have the latest and BEST cancer care available. You will hear from others here that have stage 3 cancer and have survived many years. My cancer was staged 2/3 and my Oncologist has every hope for full recovery. Everyday, new meds are being developed to kill this disease and one day soon, there will be a cure. Try to look toward a healthy future and tell yourself over and over that you will beat this thing. You will beat it !!!! Love and Hugs to you, Nancy S.

cruf
Posts: 931
Joined: Oct 2000

Welcome to this website. It's a wonderful place with lots of wonderful,caring people. Feel free to ask questions,no matter how silly you might think they are . Somebody will be able to answer you. You will laugh with us, and sometimes cry with us. We talk about everything, and I mean everything! Stay positive! Ask for help. You deserve it. Keep in touch. We're all here and more than willing to help wherever we can. HUGS! Cathy

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Dear Mommy2twinz

DO NOT TAKE ANY NOTICE OF THE STATISTICS & WHAT YOUR DOCTOR SAYS. To get average statistics a lot of people have to beat the odds. BE POSITIVE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE ONE OF THE ONES WHO BEAT THE ODDS. Most of all read Tiger's webpage. She is one who has beaten the odds & all by a positive attitude & a fighting spirit. I too was first DX 20 years ago & am now Stage 4. I am still fighting it & beating it. Also give your family some credit. They will be wonderfully supportive. Always be honest with them. And if your doctor once mentions palliative treatment FIRE HIM. Get a new oncologist who is prepared to fight for you & with you. My son was only 5 when I was forst diagnosed & he is 25 now. Keeping you in my prayers. Love Pam.

cherdaetwyler
Posts: 165
Joined: Dec 2000

Hi,
Do not despair!!!
My cancer was diagnosed as late stage 111, borderline stage 1V except they couldn't find any metastases. I had a bilateral masectomy in Dec., have now completed the first phase of my chemo (A/C) and begin my Taxol treatments on Tuesday.

I am fighting with all I have, and will continue to fight until I beat this beast. It is a struggle, but a winnable one.

You will do well. My cousin who was 35 when diagnosed with a son just about the age of your twins, is six months out of treatment with no signs of recurrence. She had stage III as well, and is doing great. Her son worried when she had no hair, but got a real kick out of rubbing her head as it grew back.

By the way my children are grown. One is married and plans to begin starting a family soon. I plan to be around to see it all.

Will pray for you and your family. Hugs to keep you and boost your spirits...I am a great hugger.
cher

apryl
Posts: 15
Joined: Apr 2001

hey, i was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in june of last year. i have just finished treatments (chemo & radiation), and am feeling great (finally). my doctor told me early on my statistics are not too good, but that there are always people breaking the odds. you can be one of those people! i will be 37 in april and have 2 sons - who have gotten to see 'just what their mom is made of' and it makes you fight so hard and be so strong. your family can handle this, you worry about you. i worried about how being bald would affect my son's friends. they thought bald was great and have enjoyed rubbing my bald head for luck. your family will handle this the way you do. they are looking to you. god bless...april

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but feeling like you don't have much hope is something I hope to help you change. I joined this support network for this moment with you. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, extensive lymphnode involvment. I have had surgeries, 2 mastectomies and chemo and radiation. I was diagnosed in early 97 and teated till Sept. of that year. I'll be honest to say the road has been long and hard. I had a 15 year old angry teen at the time. I just knew he needed me and I had to fight for my life. I know the fears are all to consuming and the worry for others. Some how you have to save all your energy and worry about yourself. Sometimes that can be very difficult if your not use to doing this. Most aren't. I hope to see you on the chat sometime. I work shift work so am off a few days at a time.
Be good to yourself,
24242 Tara

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