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What to do?

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2001

My adopted mom whom I live with has breast cancer. I am a caregiver and I want to do the best I can for her. We went to the surgeon today and next Friday she will have the mass removed from her breast. Please add her to any prayer lists -Jean Strugis,PA.

She is remarried to Earl and he was yelling at her a lot and now he tries to be quiet. He told her if he had the money and the car he would leave.

I will not leave and I will be here with her other two daughters to help with what she needs.
I just hope I can recognize her needs and respond in her best interest. Any advice would be helpful.

Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

The first thing she has to do is not feel any guilt about the way he feels towards her. He sounds like the type of man who cannot deal with something like this. She has to stay strong in her heart and in her mind in order to fight this thing. Negative feelings on her part or geared towards her are not beneficial at this time, or any time for that matter. Try using laughter with her, I always find that when I am scared or upset, my husband tries to make me laugh and it lightens my shoulders. the ladies on this site are outstanding, an amazing support system at your fingertips 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Cancer is a scary thing to have, but we all carry on day by day. I feel that I was given this in order to open my eyes to my loving family, and slow down in life, and take the time to enjoy what I have. I am a strong-willed, stubborn woman, and I tell myself that this cancer is not going to get me. And believe me, It wont!!
Check out our personal web pages for more information, instead of us reiterating our stories over again. You will find a great source of information and strength there.
My personal favorite is in the expression gallery by Brenda Dean, I read her letter and felt my shoulders lift, she has given me such inspiration and hope.
Take care and Fight The Good Fight.
Hugs from tiger

Posts: 931
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi Jean. You're a wonderful caring daughter! The only advice I can give you is just be there to comfort and support her. The best thing is to know somebody is around to lean on if necessary and to listen to you. Keep up the good work! Cathy

pamtriggs's picture
Posts: 407
Joined: Sep 2000

Dear Margaret
If Earl is not going to be there for her she is better to let himslide. She needs only positives inher life right now & she obviously has that with you an dher other 2 daughters. Encourage her to share her needs with you all & go with her to her appointments so you are all sure just what treatment is being proposed for her. Any questions ask straight away. If you feel unsure of what you are being told ask here on this site. I think between us we have it all covered by now. Lots of luck to you & your mom. Keep us notified of progress. Love Pam

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