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more emotional than ever in life

jo anne
Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2000

I was diagnosed with lung cancer,it had also moved into my lymph glands last may of 99. I was treated with chemotherapy and radiation. In November of 99 my tumor was gone. I was totally thrilled but now I feel like a totally different person. Along with the normal side effects, I find myself crying over things I never cried over before. I know this sounds ridiculous, but even when I watch Animal Planet, I burst into tears over sick dogs or any animal.
Even worse...it takes alot for me to swat a fly or spray an insect. I know I always felt badly before over injured or sick people or animals but now...I litterly ball my eyes out. My emotions are running so high. Does anyone else out there feel this incredible sense of what one of my doctors called a renewel of life?

shiloh's picture
shiloh
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2000

Yes, the emotions are high. I was writing a novel when my wife died from complications from cancer treatment, then two years latter I had cance in my tonsil and after the treatment was left on a feeding tube for about eight months, I lost my house, the lady I was going out with left and in the end we move south for my health. The emotions are often sad, but also happy. I just wish I could meet some one or a group to share with and feel a part of life once more.

iam1mess's picture
iam1mess
Posts: 10
Joined: Nov 2000

Oh yes, I am totally renewed to life after my cancer, but I still suffer from deep depression as well, even on medication. Life is so very precious and so many people take advantage of life.
Bless you, just charish each new day.

brianrking's picture
brianrking
Posts: 5
Joined: Jun 2001

Hi JoAnne,
I've been in remission for 13 years now and I still won't swat a fly. At first I cried when I saw others suffer because I was reminded about the fear of my own loss of life and was grieving over it. Now I grieve more over those who don't appreciate their life at all. How ever you look at it, life is fragile and temporary. The best thing about it is that you have it at all and make sure you look for opportunities to enjoy what you have as opposed to reminders that it can be lost.

nutt
Posts: 140
Joined: Sep 2001

Late comer to the cancer arena but would like to know now that you have several months under your belt, has it imporved with time? How or what have you done? Have much of the same feeling currenly and don't see a light at the end of the tunnel?

crtsang
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

For me, a year and a half beyond treatment (without recurrence), it has abated. I'm still sort of processing the emotional accompaniments that go with a cancer diagnosis, but that said, I no longer have nearly the same desperation. To follow your metaphor, I've emerged into the light, but can still feel the chill of the tunnel behind me.
What I did: I found people to talk with (at a Gilda's Club); I explored a variety of other ways to get through time, such as yoga or tai chi and crafts. (I have to say that would have sounded corny as all get out before I gave it a shot, but I discovered that it was really nice. Maybe it's the sense of accomplishment, or with the crafts, the feeling of having completed something when so much of the rest of my life was just loose ends hanging around.) I don't mean to recommend precisely the same thing, but maybe trying some things you've never done before, the way I just decided to give the artsy stuff a chance.
Actually, clay gave me the start. So much fun squishing your fingers into something that offers resistance in some way, but is so malleable. Making mosaics was kind of fun too, because it involved smashing plates (to get the pieces to glue). I hope that makes it sound a little less corny.

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