bummed

of course, post-treatment depression is common. how do you get rid of it? that's a very good question. i've been trying to get rid of it for the last 6 months or so. it was pretty heavy at first, but now it is limited to weekly bouts. so for maybe a week out of a month i will be in depresso mode. it feels like it is gradually being phased out but i can't really point to anything specifically that i've done to make it go away. i'm surprised that it isn't more profound because i am a pretty emotional guy and depression prone anyway. i guess i just try to remind myself that part of being a survivor is dealing with your negative emotions in a productive way. so i play a lot of music and exercise as much as i can, meditate, yoga, find friends that don't mind me venting, all sorts of things. it is better than the opposite of surviving, that's for sure.

i guess antidepressants are fine if you need them. although, it sort of reminds me of something a friend of mine told me the other day, half jokingly of course: "If you're having a rough week, do what i do. increase your obliviousness to everything around you through more drug use!" i laughed, but it also made me think, you know...i want to increase my awareness, not my obliviousness. i'm not trying to discourage you from medicine that is helping you out, but you might want to think about it as a short term solution while gradually decreasing your dependancy on it. have you ever thought about therapy? it may be good to talk to someone about your feelings, especially someone who is trained to bring out negative emotions and expose them. i've actually considered doing that myself. not that this message board isn't a good outlet, but a professional psychologist may be better at flushing a lot of the depression out.