my husband is giving up

jaunty
jaunty Member Posts: 15
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My husband has throat cancer and has decided to give up all treatments and go ahead and die. Altho I am willing to go along with it, I dread facing the last days. I have done all I can for him: researched things to help the side effects of radiation, tried to find things he could eat, etc. Has anyone else been through this? Any words of wisdom, or what I will be going thru, or things to help?
Thanks.

Comments

  • gdpawel
    gdpawel Member Posts: 523 Member
    #2
    While my wife was up at Hershey Medical Center during the summer of 1999 to try and save her life or to at least get her some more time, I bought the home edition of the Merck Manual. It had a very, very good chapter on death and dying (what to expect). Although when the time came, I still wasn't prepared for it. She died in my arms and I tried CPR while summoning the paramedics on the phone. People have told me, "at least she died in your arms". Well, it didn't cut it! Almost weekly, I suffer some flash back of the final event and it still scares me. That's almost two years ago. It's feels like it happen just yesterday. I don't think the feeling will ever go away. "Mother-Time" perhaps will try to help as much as she can?
  • jaunty
    jaunty Member Posts: 15
    #3
    gdpawel said:

    While my wife was up at Hershey Medical Center during the summer of 1999 to try and save her life or to at least get her some more time, I bought the home edition of the Merck Manual. It had a very, very good chapter on death and dying (what to expect). Although when the time came, I still wasn't prepared for it. She died in my arms and I tried CPR while summoning the paramedics on the phone. People have told me, "at least she died in your arms". Well, it didn't cut it! Almost weekly, I suffer some flash back of the final event and it still scares me. That's almost two years ago. It's feels like it happen just yesterday. I don't think the feeling will ever go away. "Mother-Time" perhaps will try to help as much as she can?

    I know that any death, tho expected, it a traumatic loss and only going thru the grieving process will help ease the pain. My husband hd to sit and watch his mother die and suffer until all life supporting efforts were stopped. This had haunted him all his life. I pray that God will ease your pain, as I am hoping and believing that he will be with me when the time comes.

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