troops

sue5749
sue5749 Member Posts: 170
in Caregivers #1
Hi, my hubby's been battling cancer now for 15 months. I've been trying to do everything myself, I am one of those persons that HATES to asks for any help. My sister told me yesterday " IT'S TIME TO CALL OUT THE TROO[S " MEANING, HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP. Just thought i would bring that up if there is anybody out there that has the same personality as me. I guess it's is time. I'm feeling kinda tired this cancer really beats you down. I guess it's time. Have to let my pride go,,,,,,

Comments

  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #2
    I have the same weak spot. If you want to see me cry, it will be when I have to ask for help. I've been helping my mother since '09 (she is actively dying now), so I've had to learn to overcome my handicap. It has helped to form specific requests for people and rehearse the words before I call them. If you're like me, you can get up the gumption to say "can you come stay here from ten to twelve tomorrow" but not "help me, I'm falling apart here" which is probably a more accurate statement.

    Also never ever forget that each time you allow someone to help, you have created a blessing for them, you, and your husband. This is powerful stuff!
  • SlowRollin
    SlowRollin Member Posts: 75
    #3
    Barbara53 said:

    I have the same weak spot. If you want to see me cry, it will be when I have to ask for help. I've been helping my mother since '09 (she is actively dying now), so I've had to learn to overcome my handicap. It has helped to form specific requests for people and rehearse the words before I call them. If you're like me, you can get up the gumption to say "can you come stay here from ten to twelve tomorrow" but not "help me, I'm falling apart here" which is probably a more accurate statement.

    Also never ever forget that each time you allow someone to help, you have created a blessing for them, you, and your husband. This is powerful stuff!

    Delegate...
    Take pride in leading a good team. The end result for you is the top care of your loved one. It's just not possible do everything, all the time. I agree with setting limits for your help. My family comes over and we have to almost kick them out. So we post days and times they can help and what we need. Mostly we ask for help with our kids or the house while we're at chemo so we won't be there.

    Also, try taking some time for yourself. You will be happier, healthier, and most important, you will be much better at being a Caregiver.

    Why fight alone, when you can fight with an Army?

    Best Wishes,


    Tony

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