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it just sucks
It just keeps getting harder the more time that passes the harder it gets. I can normally get through a day with saying atleast I was lucky enough to have true love for 21 years. But today all I can do is miss him with every ounce of energy I have. It sucks why would god give him to me just to take him away. I don't think…
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It's been a while
It has been along time since I have posted on this or any other site. Since losing my husband of almost 40 years I have been dealing with a lot of stuff. I thought the hardest thing I have ever done was take care of him, or watch him deterierate from the cancer and watch him die. BUT the hardest seems to be learning to…
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kitchen towels
I was cleaning out the linen closet this morning (a job long overdue) and I found a set or brand new kitchen towels, and potholders that my mom had bought me some years back. That made me smile and want to cry, but mostly smile. It's like she was saying, see I'm still here, still looking out for you. It's so hard to…
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Can we skip tomorrow?
Hi I am feeling so much dread right now. I wish tomorrow would just go away. My beloved Mother passed away on Valentines Day this year and I just miss her so. My daughter is expecting me to come over for a BBQ dinner to celebrate Mother's Day. I really do not want to go. I told her why it was hard for me, she feels that it…
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Having a hard time..
Hi, My mother died this past December 2011..3 days after my 26th birthday. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October 2011, and it had already spread to her liver, lung, and bone. I didn't and still to this day can't comprehend it. It happened so fast, and me and my mother were so close. I am the youngest of three…
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Loosing Them Twice
Almost six months now since she passed. AS I become numb to each grieving ache it seems another ache appears. I have begun feeling like I'm loosing her again. As each day / month passes the freshness of the memories are fading. A sense of slow motion watching her disappear . Guess that's what it feels like when reality…
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Too much to handle
My dear Mum died yesterday of a massive brain hemorrhage. We had 1 week warning this would happen. My Dad died 4th March of Brain cancer. I am absolutely in total shock. I can't absorb what has happened at all.
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Journaling & Grief
Journaling has saved me throughout my 2 years of self discovery. The first year was through my husband's diagnosis of melanoma which ended in death on May 27, 2011. I can tell you that 2 people were grieving during that time. My husband supported me in my writing and until he couldn't read well at the end I read to him. My…
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My mother died of ovarian cancer two years ago today!
My mother was only 68 years old. All she had was a stomach ache. It wasn't until she couldn't hold any food down and became dehydrated that her cancer was detected. However, it was in an advanced stage and five months later, we lost her. I thought after two years, things in my life would relatively get back to normal, but…
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Here we go again...
A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go. ~Author Unknown Mother, RIP - May 19, 2011 Husband, RIP - May 27, 2011 I knew that this time of year was going to be very difficult to get through... but I really wasn't prepared for being slammed up against the wall once more with all the devastating feelings of loss again. Then…