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My dad is at peace.
My dad passed away on 1/19/2011 at the age of 56 from Sarcoma of the lungs. He went on Home Hospice in October. Decisions were made (not by me) to bring him to the hospital in his final days. I was with him in the hospital and I was able to recount memories, tell him how much I loved him, and comb his hair one last time. I…
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What do I do now?
What do I do now? I lost my husband on January 16, his 63 birthday to a disease I had never heard of. Myelofibrosis. He hasn't been sick other that an occasional cold in the 35 years. Hasn't been to a doctor in 25 years. He started to get sick on Christmas day. Urgent Care said it was just a sinus infection with slightly…
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How about a new "situation" ???
OK here it is. I have been so lonely for male companionship lately. All of my female family and my girlfriends all have husbands, boyfriends, whatever. My daughter is in a great relationship now, so we hardly do things together. I went on a website, for friends and dating. Filled out the forms, put up a pic...I don't even…
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Horrible today
God, it rained cold buckets all day today, The Fed Ex truck delivered the cremains from Richmond, and my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD because of the horrible flash backs I've been having and the fact that I'm unable to sleep with out chemical help, (and even that sleep is spotty.) I'm gearing up for Sundays memorial…
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A first of many, I am sure
Last night I took a chance and went, with my daughter, to listen to my girlfriend's band at a little bar. This was something my love and I did often, in better days. We would dance the night away! I was scared. Scared of how it would feel to be there without him, scared of how I would feel to see other couples dancing,…
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How do I help??
My friend who lost her husband is having such a hard time. I just read several of your posts and know so many of you can relate. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I am a 3X cancer survivor so have been on this site for some time. I am encouraging her to pop on here and read similar stories....but in your opinion,…
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It's been one month...
What is it with me? I've tried so hard not to count days. I didn't count time after my love's dx until I began to sense that we were nearing the end of our time together. And I told myself not to count anymore since he passed. But here I am today, marking the one month anniversary of his death! At times I feel that the…
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Those last awful days
Please tell me that after a while I will be able to bring to mind all of the wonderful things about my time with Mike instead of the endless loop of the last awful days. It's almost like PTSD flashbacks. He's only been gone since the 14th, so I'm not expecting miracles this soon, but I'm hoping that after a time the…
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Opinion on Counseling?
Hello Everyone, I am wondering if I should go to counseling? I feel as though I can get through this on my own but I am pregnant and due on my birthday June 19th so it will be very emotional, first time without my mom on my birthday and my first baby without my mom to hold my baby. Im nervous for when this time comes ill…
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Awake since 5 am
Even with the Ambien I take, I find myself waking up around 5 am every morning. A few times I have been able to go back to sleep. My heart has decided that bedtime is the time for it to remember, to grieve. I usually pray and recall our life when I go to bed. And fall to sleep. Haven't had but 2-3 dreams since my love…
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Is this the way it has to be?
Hi, Its been five and half months since my mum passed away aged 61 with ovarian cancer, she was diagnosed and two and half weeks later she passed away. Their is my dad and my sister and we are all so close as a family, we still are but the pain, its my mums birthday this thursday and Im having these awful dreams when she…
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Don't know how to cope
My 42 year old husband, lost his fight October 13th 2010, diagnosed on march 13th 07. I don't feel like I'm ever going to get off the roller coaster. My husband was in the hospital at the end of June '10 for procedure. The doctors sent him home 10 days later July 2nd, with hospice saying, "there is nothing more we can do…
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First time alone
This morning I spent the first moments alone since my love passed away. I thought that it was something I needed, as I have been surrounded with love and care continuously since Dec. 20th. I've cried, I've danced with my arms raised as in holding him. I've asked him why did he leave me. I've asked God why did Dennis have…
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Add Insult to Injury
Or the other way around actually. Was trying really hard to make it through the holidays and stay strong. But...on Christmas Eve I fell on the stairs and broke my foot!. The ER doc at the small country hopital said he couldn't really tell but thought I had a minor fracture and sent me home with instructions to stay off it…
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Just thinking out loud
Its coming up on 9 months since I lost my husband to lung cancer..... I have tried every option available to me to deal with this loss....the whole in my soul is vast. I made it though the holidays mostly by simply zoning myself out....moments of interest about the season but mostly wanting it to all just go away. I have…
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New member who's mom recently passed.. on Christmas Day
Hello Everyone, My mom, who has been my rock through out life passed away on Christmas Day. On Nov 23rd I took her to the hospital thinking she had a flair up of her Diverticulitis, but come to find out she had stage 4 Ovarian Cancer and didnt have long to live. She came home with hospice, It just didnt seem real she…
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Today
Today is our precious granddaughter's 2nd Birthday and my heart is so sad that grampy won't be here! Made it through Christmas and new year, but today I am missing him so! 14 days, and there are moments that my mind thinks he is going to come through the door. I know that God is holding me right now, but today I actually…
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2010
Well, this is the last day of the last year that my Daddy was alive. I thought I would be happy to see this year go but, I feel a little more sad. I hate cancer.