-
First post
My husband died April 27 after a nearly three year journey with tonsil cancer. My heart is broken - we have two children - 18 and 20 who have been simply wonderful through all of this. I realize that I am being very hard on myself - I know this grief is very new and raw - but I'm impatient with how terrible I feel and…
-
Am I being odd and how do I handle this?
I am going up from FL to NJ in Sept. (probably) to take Don's ashes to the family plot. I have been looking forward to that time to rest, see the places we love, relax. The oldest, who's been very nice to me, wanted to come with her three children and make it a family trip, but I told her I needed that time alone.…
-
The one month date
I am so vastly confused with this whole grieving process...I was going along quite well all things considered....doing what needed to be done and for the most part feeling that I had a good grip on things. Well fast forward to yesterday...the one month anniversary of Bill's death and it rocked me to my core...immense…
-
Quotes I've found
If yellow roses grow in Heaven, Lord, pick a bunch for me~Place them in my Dad's arms& tell him they're from me~ Tell him that I miss him& when he turns to smile ~ place a kiss upon his cheek & hold him for a while~ Beceause remembering him is easy~I do it everyday~There's an ache within my heart that.....will never go…
-
The anniversary....
Hi...have not been here in a bit of awhile....I needed to let go of some of the grieving and get back to trying to establish my "new Normal"... On the 11th of May Bill and I would have celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary...I started to panic the day before...went though all of my recent memories...trying yet again to…
-
Momma's Gone
She fought this disease, but it was too strong for her. My mother, my best friend, and a truly loving person to all living beings died in my arms on Mother's Day. I don't know how to act, what to say.....I go through my days in a fog, making arrangements, calling friends. But this world will never look the same to me…
-
Here we go again
Hello. Yesterday was the first Mother's Day without my mom and it was rough. I won't lie. We went down to my inlaws to spend the day with them which is nice since they are both in their 80's and we all know, we aren't going to live forever. We also went to the hospital to visit my BIL. He has Stage IV Esophageal cancer. He…
-
Mother's Day without my best friend
For several days now I have been dreading Mother's Day. This Mother's Day was to be very special for my husband and I because on October 2, 2009 we gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby boy, after having three prior miscarriages. Shortly after Dakotas birth Donald began to complain about shortness of breath. He was an…
-
Silly thinking...maybe....
I am having some inner battles....more time that goes by..more things need doing around the house..each thing brings memories...which is understandable. My problem is that I am finding...that I am trying to do things the way Bill did them..you know...simple household chores....but I am finding that I am doing things…
-
doctors and bad bedside mannors
I just took my 10 year old daughter to the doctor last night because she was running a high fever and she could hardly walk and crying her head was hurting. I had to keep calming her down because she was sure she was dying like my husband her dad did almost 4 months ago with esophigial cancer. She had the same complaints…
-
Oh now this is something new....
This morning I literally woke up and started to cry....for not apparent reason...I had just woken up and truthfully there was not a thought in my head. Maybe still swirling around from yesterday...don't know. Truth be told there is another huge factor at work here...three days ago I quit smoking....it made no sense to keep…