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Change
It has been a little over a year since I lost my Mom on September 2nd 2009. I still cry every single day and I cannot control it. My Mom was my best friend and the person that I went to for everything. While I cannot say internally that the pain and grieving have gotten any better, I believe I have found a way to deal with…
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Dreams - two the same
Hi all , I dont know if Im trying to make sense of a no sense situation if you know what I mean lol. My wonderful mum passed away nearly three months ago aged 61, she went into hopsital 25th June , 2 and half weeks later she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and then two and half weeks later she passed away. My dad, sister…
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Getting out of the hole...any suggestions
I have hit a wall this week. Everything has been an effort. Everyday this week I have struggled to get out of bed, to get dressed, to get the kids to school, to get through a day at work and when we get home, it takes a mighty effort to get dinner on the table and to keep going til the kids get to bed. Its not that I am…
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the Bible says....
3.God is with you—always and forever, in the midst of every challenge. “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" (Deuteronomy 31:8). No matter what happens, it can be used for good. “And we know that in all things God works for…
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One Year
Today marks one year since Doug died. Funny, or maybe unfunny, I don't feel any different. It doesn't mark the end of my mourning period. It doesn't change my grief. We set these artificial timelines sometimes. I did take my rings off yesterday. I don't know why. I just did. I am wearing them on a chain around my neck. I…
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Discussion boards
I find myself going to the other Discussion Boards; reading the posts and wishing I was commenting under the Head and Neck discussions instead of Grief and Bereavement. It seems I'm always looking backwards and reliving the events of the past year. Maybe because the future is unbearable right now???
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Anniversary Angst
Tomorrow is our forty-second anniversary and Thursday was the five-month anniversary of my husband's death. Sad sad week. I'm having trouble getting through today. I can't imagine how depressing tomorrow will be. A comedian I enjoy, once made a joke about feeling so low he could "limbo under a rug." That is how I'm…
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I hate weekends!
It's just that the normality and routine of the week is comforting and no matter who is around and what I am doing, weekends just aren't the same. Guess this is just ONE more thing to get over and grieve through, like so many other things in my life right now.
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Some Days
Some days I can do things around the house, and then all of a sudden the tears start. I look at something that was Dale's and cry. He has only been gone a month and 1/2. I can't believe he is not here, he left me. I had Dale's memorial on 9-29, since then no one has called. I guess they are all back in their own little…
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Life is black and white
Hi , Since loosing my mum on 30 July this year, She was 61 yound, barring the pain and tears which is unbearable, but I life has a whole new meaning, infact their is no meaning anymore to life. Im not suicidal and would never do anything like that, but its like someone has taken my rose tinted glasses off and when I look…
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Today
Today would have been my wedding anniversary, 24 years. Since I started couseling and meds I have been doing a little better, but today it all came crashing down on me again. I still can't believe he's not here any longer. I basically just stayed in bed most of the day. I know there are going to be a lot of "firsts" as the…
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Good song to listen to.....
"I will never say goodbye" by Danny Gokey.....go to youtube and listen to it. Good one for all of us during these times....we are not alone! Gayle
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Don't Tell Me....
Don't Tell Me... Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know, Don't tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow. Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed, That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest. Don't come at me with answers that can only come from me, Don't…
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Lost in Space
It's been 4 weeks since my wife passed away from breast cancer. I find myself lost in this large house where it used to be such a happy place. Coming home to speak to her daily and seeing her smiling face. Now it is just a house not a home. My wife died on September 8th and my grandaughters 1st bithday was on the 24th. I…
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Helpful book
If you can find a book called One's Company by Barbara Holland, you may find it helpful. She talks about dealing with life when you live alone. She was divorced, but she has talked to people who have been widowed, etc. The book is both accurate and in some cases amusing. I read it years ago after my mother died and have…
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Stirring Up Memories
A close family member of mine had elective surgery last week. He developed confusion and had to be transferred to intensive care for monitoring for a few days. Although the cause of his confusion was determined and it was known that it would resolve eventually, I was somewhat surpised how it affected me. I was calm and…
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Memory Bear
Here is the newest creation that arrived in the mail on Thursday. A memory bear made out of my husband's jeans, red sox cap and the bear is wearing his Ferrari cap! Mary
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Boston Brain Tumor Walk
My daughters and I volunteered today at the First Annual Brain Tumor Walk in South Boston. It was an inspiring day, but brought on a mix of emotions. This was a fundraiser for research on all brain tumors. We listened to several testimonials of indivuals and families fighting this disease, and all the struggles, and ups…
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Table for one...
Cooking has always been an avocation for me. When my husband was healthy, we savored our meals. When my husband became ill (both with colon cancer and heart disease), I dramatically re-vamped our diet and it became a low-fat, heart (and, I hoped, cancer-healthy) one. It just one more among many challenges that faced us,…