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my history

It is as if they had put all your life in a box, shake it with force and open it on the other side". This is the phrase that Marcos, the psycho-oncologist of Chus and of the AECC in Santiago, told me, and it is honestly the one that best defines this situation. 

My father with lung cancer waiting to be operated, my enterprising vein giving birth to my own clothing store (preparations, shopping and others) and the wedding of my dear sister. In the middle of all this, in case it was not enough stressful in itself, two days before the wedding and 1 week after my father's operation, they tell me that I have breast cancer. Total and absolute shock! 31 years, without antecedents, what a year ago was supposedly a fibrocystic mammary pathology "unimportant" and that at that moment they did not want to operate on me because of their lack of importance ... .. it turns out that it is a tumor of about 6 cms! And now that? Who do I ask for responsibilities for not wanting to do anything before pq was not important? 

It is advanced, from 6 to 8 chemotherapy sessions and then a mastectomy. I was paralyzed, not knowing what to do with my life. What I most wanted was to hit a big vacation, forget everything and enjoy. 

This was at the beginning of June. The operation of my lung dad went well, but in the end in August he got a brain metastasis. 
I think I have faced this situation in a way that I never would have imagined. I go every day to work, I do housework, I take my dogs down and we go for a walk ... these months I tried that my life did not change too much, that in spite of the ailments of the chemo I could continue with my rhythm of always best possible. 
Supposedly the October twentieth ended the chemo and we put date of the operation. And now two sessions tell me to start again. It is triple negative, and this second treatment, apart from taking it much worse, is not responding as expected with which we have returned to the tests and decide on a different treatment. 
I am very encouraged. I feel good, I continue with my business and my things, with discomfort in the breast of inflammation (which is what is really giving them the can), and wishing that in two weeks the tests go well (or at least equal to the of 4 months ago) and that the next medication that they put me is already the definitive one; and that the moment arrives for the desired operation and the recovery of all this nightmare. 

Yes, I have to thank the aecc for the support, all my family and friends; that as I said Amalia I think it was the morning at the get-together, sometimes only with their presence they fix us the day. 
and well, in my area I do not know anyone of my age who has faced a similar situation, or who has been treated of this, which I think would often be very helpful.

Swollen lymph nodes in the neck that did not hurt and that had been there for several months. Ultrasound: Yes, it is an inflamed ganglion (and you know that the belly button is a hernia, nothing special). Analysis: no, there is no type of infection. TAC: huy, there are swollen lymph nodes in the armpits. Well, we do not know what it is, we just have to do a biopsy. Well, well, well, I'm glad. So far, no worries. I have cutaneous lupus for more than ten years, lupus made the blame for everything that happens to me, and I am so calm, because I do not have systemic lupus, which is the bad one. 
First a full blood test in December and then the preoperative tests, which are scheduled for the end of February. I guess they will do the biopsy in March and then they will give me the results of everything together. And I'm still so calm. 
And then they call me from the hospital: they advance more than a month all the preoperative tests. I get an alarm in my brain. To pass tests, with the waiting lists that there are for everything? Suspect... 

The biopsy of the neck ganglion is performed on January 27 with general anesthesia (in the recovery room, it seems that I told the nurse that now I would link more, because I had the vampire's mark on my neck. I do not remember anything, well, yes, I remember asking if the Nazis had already left). 
Two weeks waiting for results. Two weeks imagining all kinds of situations, frantically looking for all kinds of information, frightening me, taking my fright, bewildered, gone, worried, nervous and dissembling in front of my children, I did not want to tell them until I do not know if there really is something to worry about . Achieve the wait without assaulting the doctor's office thanks to the encouragement of two of my brothers, the only ones to whom I told what was happening in Quebueno
And when the day finally arrives, I am so nervous that I can not concentrate on what the doctor tells me. I only remember snippets of the conversation: "there is something in the ganglion", "it does not require treatment", "revision every three months" and little else. I'm going home happy: I have nothing! And so I announce it to my poor brothers, who have been so worried and have supported me so much the insurance
And the next day, very relaxed, I read the copies of the reports that the doctor has given me: follicular lymphoma or follicular lymphoma in situ, initial stage. I guess that's how you feel when you're pummeled in the face. 

I'm going through a phase of bewilderment and search for information, I read in PubMed some scientific articles that reassure me about the prognosis and finally I gather the courage to explain it to my children. I also speak with my brothers, and I inform of the situation to another brother who until now knew nothing (we do not live in the same city, it is not difficult for these things to go unnoticed if one proposes it). And then it is when I get saturated and I stop thinking about the topic, I stop looking for information and I stop talking about it. Total, whatever the diagnosis, the review is in May and, until then, nothing. 
The scar on my neck has given me a lot of discomfort: it has taken a long time to deflate (lupus blame, sure), it's ugly, the scars reducing patches irritate my skin, it hurts when I move my neck. I can not help but keep my hand to the scar constantly. But now it is much better, flatter, less red ... and you can feel a small bump underneath. And this reminds me that I asked the doctor if they would put the ganglion back on me; He told me no, I do not know why, because it seems that they have put it back to me: it is in the same place and has the same size. 
And now, a survey: the doctor told me that if another ganglion swelled me, that I would ask for an appointment with her, that she would treat me in one or two days. I have a scheduled time for a month, with blood tests and previous CT scans. 
Do I ask for time to visit me immediately or do I wait for the scheduled visit? 
All suggestions will be appreciated. And the patience of whoever has read this far is also appreciated.

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