Lesbians Talk About Cancer — Cancer Survivors Network

Calling all Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender cancer survivors and caregivers

whistlestopgirl — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 17:27:32 +0000

Hi everyone, I have been watching this board for a long time and see very little activity. I have to believe that in all of america there are more than a few glbt people dealing with cancer. I would love to see this board an active board like many of the others I see on this site. One possibility is to combine and make a new board open to lesbians, gay men, bi, and transgender people. Or just lets invite all the glbt to this board whatever it takes to make this a much more active and helpful board for all of us that deal with cancer on a day to day basis. I am not sure what it takes to make a new board since I am really not a techie, but I look forward to any imput to this post to see what can be done. For some people who have access to glbt centers in their cities that hold suport groups for cancer they are so lucky, but for many of us the internet is all we have to reach out and connect with others like us going through this battle with cancer. I hope that there are enough of you out there to create a active discussion group or posting group that helps us help each other. We have alot of issues unique to us while having to deal with the fight against cancer. I am asking for imput from survivors and caregivers as well as straight friends, family of glbt people. If the glbt community can have many sites for dating can we not have just one site to help us help each other during a very hard time dealing with the day to day of fighting cancer. Anyway I hope this post will help create something that I truly feel is needed so much. Thanks for listening, and I hope that there are several of you gay, lesbian, bi, and transgender people out there that want to share and support one another during a real hard journey on this road we call life.

Hard

nette2156 — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 15:36:07 +0000

Hello, I will try writing on here again... I try holding everything in. But I still have not heard some one got cancer in there feet or leg now they talking lungs. How do keep being strong when you keep going threw something I'm only 43 and it's hard.

Cancer center experiences

Wobbly2024 — Fri, 28 Jun 2024 14:15:34 +0000

Anyone else experiencing micro aggression at your cancer center? Informing our cancer team about Trauma informed radiation was a hurdle to jump over in the beginning. Experiencing homophobia 5 days a week for another 5 weeks seems to be just another part of the treatment. We plan to address this issue with the hospital as soon as treatment is complete. Saying something now might help, but it also might make matters worse, so it doesn’t seem worth the risk.

Ureter Cancer

MellieMel — Wed, 17 Nov 2021 16:27:18 +0000

In 2012 I had both of my hips totally replaced and in 2013 I was diagnosed with Ureter cancer in my left ureter after a year long journey of pain, blood in my urine, multiple CT scans, and cystoscopies. I had surgery to remove the tumor and as they were able to get 2 clean ends, my ureter was reattached to my bladder. Approximately 3 months later during a routine well woman check up a mass was discovered in my left ovary. It was determined to be cancerous and I underwent a full hysterectomy. They were unable to locate the mass and subsequently everything they removed was sent to pathology where they found active cancer cells beginning in my cervix. I did not have any type of chemo or radiation after either of these surgeries. So that is the back story which brings me to today....I started passing blood and blood clots in my urine about 2 weeks ago. I have minor back pain however I also have RA, and Fibromyalgia and the pain in my back is something that I have had for years and is exaserbated by sitting to long, walking or standing too long, trying to work in the yard etc.... My doctor ordered a CT scan which came back normal as did all of my others that I have had in the past. I do have a urology appointment scheduled for Dec 6 (soonest available) for bloodwork, urinalysis and cystoscopy. My wife wants me to go to an Urgent care to get bloodwork and urine test sooner...I am not a fan of urgent cares and feel that the wait while stressful, is only a few weeks away and will be here soon enough. I guess, I just needed to vent but am also wondering if I am just putting off the inevitable?

Thanks for listening! God Bless!

MellieMel

Lesbian s/p b/l mastectomy with flat closure

thyscientist — Fri, 07 May 2021 23:42:42 +0000

HELLO EVERYONE

IM NEW HERE I GO BY STORM, I HAVE BREAST AND OVARIAN CANCER AND WAS DIAGNOSED WITH LUPUS IN 2014. (A HANDFUL I KNOW)

I JOINED HERE BECAUSE LATELY MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL STATE HAS BEEN TERRIFYING AS I AM ONLY 30 AND UNDERGOING A LOT OF UNCOMFORTABLE TREATMENT AND I JUST HAD A BILATERAL COMPLETE MASTECTOMY WITH LYMPHNODE REMOVAL (FLAT CLOSURE) THREE WEEKS AGO AND IN JUNE IM HAVING A TOTAL HYSTERECTOMY.

NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE AS WE ALL DO IM SURE BUT IT WOULD BE GREAT TO MEET PEOPLE I CAN RELATE TO AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS SO I FEEL LESS SCARED AND ALONE.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY AND READING.

WHEREVER YOU ARE IN OUR WORLD HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

Endometrial cancer newly diagnosed and treatment

tinacap77 — Sun, 18 Oct 2020 15:16:02 +0000

This board doesn't seem to have any recent posts. I'm a lesbian, married/partnered with same women since 1985. Diagnosed after surgery on 9/11/2020 with Endometrial Cancer Stage 3 C1 Grade 1. I just completed my first round of Chemo of 6 plus radiation. just wanted to see if this an active place to post.

Anyone...

Heyker — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 06:18:50 +0000

Is anyone still active on this board?

heyker

Private Message Spam

CSN_Anne — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 17:27:28 +0000

Hello everyone,

Thank you to all of you who have alerted us to the PM spamming from earlier today. I apologize for the inconvenience. While we do have securities in place, we are not always able to catch all spam, and we are trying to figure out how this one got around our system. If you received a message from jegac1 please do respond to it or share any of your information.

Jegac1 has now been blocked from the CSN site.

Again, I am sorry for the inconvenience. Please continue to report any email spammers or questionable behavior you see.

Best regards,

Anne

CSN Support Team

Lesbian Breast Cancer Spouse Looking for Support

ceilingtile — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 18:11:16 +0000

My partner was just diagnosed with both LCIS and ILC. Because the LCIS is so tiny and pervasive, the doctor is recommending a double masectomy, because she doesn't feel she can safely monitor my partner's breasts. The good news is that they detected it very early and she is only in Stage 1. However, I go back and forth between being normal/productive and being horrifically depressed. I just needed to reach out to other cancer spouses for support.

Lesbian widow

lisaonthenet — Sun, 15 Mar 2015 22:58:23 +0000

Hello,

I lost my wife, partner and best friend to thyroid cancer in 2010. Passed the 5 year mark this past February. Feeling pretty sad. Doesn't get 'better' - just different, with time.

Been trying to find other widows to make friends with but haven't been very successful. Just thought that another lesbian widow and I would get what each other has been through. Make sense?

Thanks for listening,

Lisa

Private Message Spam

CSNSupportTeam — Sun, 22 Feb 2015 16:39:59 +0000

Hello everyone,

Thank you to those who've alerted us to the spamming from earlier today, and we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. While we have security measures in place, we can't prevent all spam. We are currently working on measures to try and block this. If you received a message, please do not respond or share any of your information.

The user, drjulius, has been blocked.

Going forward, please continue to report any spammers or questionable behavior to us.

Sincerely,

Kim

CSN Support Team

Discussion Board and Chat Spam

CSN_LauraE — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 17:29:22 +0000

Hello everyone,

Thank you to those who've alerted us to the spamming from earlier today and we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. While we have security measures in place, we can't prevent all spam. We are currently working on measures to try and block this kind of discussion board and chat spamming. If you received a message about a cure for cancer, please do not respond or share any of your information.

This user has been blocked.

Going forward, please continue to report any spammers or questionable behaviors to us.

Sincerely,

Laura E

CSN Support Team

girlfriend pushing me and everyone away

auradaisy — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 05:17:53 +0000

About 7 months ago, my girlfriend became part of the 1% of her age (30) and gender to get diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. She's been through a lot.. the chemo, bone marrow transplant and to top it off.. a hip replacement next month. She's been the light of my life- and everyone elses lives for years because of her consistant positive attitude torwards life and the punches it may throw at you.

I have noticed a great deal of change. She hasnt been answering her phone or responding to texts from good friends trying to reach out, be supportive, or just trying to keep her involved in their lives - cancer or no cancer, they just want to be around her because she has always been such a great friend. The friend who always put a positive twist on a negative situation, who could make you laugh when you really didn't want to. But lately, not only have I noticed those actions, I feel she is now pushing me away as well.

I spent all of september with her in Durham during her transplant, it was a difficult month. I quit my job and dedicated all of my time to her. We live together and also have a room mate.

Lately I have really noticed a more aggressive, angry, and pessimistic behavior torwards me and everything around her .I can't remember the last time I have seen her genuinely smile or laugh at something silly I do that used to crack her up. It's hard. I don't know what she is feeling, but sometimes I feel like she resents me for that. I'm trying to do what I can, but I am at the point where I feel like everything I do is wrong. I dont want to lose grasp of myself either trying to keep up with everything she is needing when I feel like everything I do is wrong.

I don't know anyone else that has been in a similar situation.. and I would love some advice. A few of my closest friends don't understand what I am going through at all.. they are starting to judge her and say she is not being fair. But I know she can't help what she is doing.. she is going through something very tramatic and I want to be there for her.

Please help.

Private Message Spam

CSN_Kim — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 16:55:22 +0000

Hello everyone,

Thank you to those who've alerted us to the PM spamming from earlier today and sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. While we have security measures in place, we can't prevent all spam. We are currently working on measures to try and block this kind of private message spamming. If you received a message from rita44556 prompting you for money, please do not respond, or share any of your information.

This user has been blocked.

Going forward, please continue to report any email spammers or questionable behaviors to us.

Sincerely,

Kim

CSN Support Team

Private Message Spam

CSN_Rowan — Tue, 08 Jul 2014 20:07:59 +0000

Hello everyone,

Some of you know that we have had previous problems with a particularly tenacious scammer named sarah, and unfortunately she has struck again. While we have security measures in place, we can't prevent all spam. We are currently working on measures to try and block this kind of private message spamming. If you received a message from sarah989888 prompting you for money, please do not respond, or share any of your information. This user has been blocked.

Going forward, please continue to report any email spammers or questionable behaviors to us. We apologize for the inconvenience, and thank you for alerting us!

Rowan

CSN Support Team

All CSN members are invited!

CSN_Nick — Fri, 30 May 2014 01:25:21 +0000

It’s finally happening! We are happy to announce that as early as tonight, a new Chat application is being launched on CSN. It is NOT Java-based and it DOES support members using mobile devices.

To access chat, you must be a CSN member and logged on. Once logged on, all you have to do is click chat in your left navigation menu. No waiting for the chat application to load, clicking the link opens up a CSN page with the chat widget embedded in the page.

For more information about how to use the new chat, please go to the technical board FAQ's:

http://csn.cancer.org/node/276321

Thank you everyone for your patience!

CSN_Nick

Uterine cancer stage 3C grade 3 (Endometrial and uterine Sarcoma)

maryv1119 — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 20:53:57 +0000

Hi everyone, Last year I was diagnosed with Endometrial cancer (stage 3C, grade 3) and a uterine sarcoma. I had a radical hysterectomy in Octber 2010, followed by radiation (external and internal) and chemo. I had my last chemo in mid May 2011 and am now cancer free! My cancer has a very high reoccurence rate, but I'm trying to take one day at a time. I've been with my partner Luann for 13 years (14 this November). She took wonderful care of me. Switched to a night shift so she could take me to all my appointments and treatments. She is my rock. My sister also stayed with us for 6 weeks to help care for me. I was/am very lucky to be totally surrounded by love. I wish everyone the very best.

Just found this discussion board...

andi44 — Tue, 20 Aug 2013 20:49:33 +0000

It doesn't appear that this board doesn't get much 'traffic' - so, maybe this is a wast of time...But if anyone is out there - Hello....

Anyway, I read that Lesbians were at more of a risk of getting breast cancer than hetro's...I don't know if I buy into that,,,The risk factors discussed were that Lesbians' had more body fat, smoked & drank more, aren't quick to seek medical attention and didn't have children prior to age 30...Anybody interested in chimming in?

Andi

My partner

emotionalpond — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 19:51:25 +0000

I guess I should post here too. My beautiful wife passed away July 10, 2013 from a bowel obstruction. I'm sadden from the loss of my partner, friend and lover. She was my everything. I'm trying to grief the best way that I can with the help of a support group.

I hope all of you are well.

Thanks

Jenn

Hello - is anyone out there? :-)

Fairemewell — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 02:44:14 +0000

Hi All, Have any of you experienced an extreme drop in desire for physical intimacy? This is my second cancer in two years. The first was endometrial cancer in 2010. I am nearly 2 years from the hysterectomy and all that is good, but with the instant onset menopause and bladder issues that ensued from the hysterectomy, my desire was near zero. Then, just as I felt I was getting all that physical stuff under control, I get the breast cancer. As very little of this experience seems normal, and pretty much all the people I know who have gone through anything like this are of the heterosexual persuasion, I am wondering how other women, lesbians, have or are dealing with this aspect of the fun with cancer. Both of my breasts will be coming off soon. I have discussed this with my wife and we have decided that I won't be doing any re-construction. Anyway, I appreciate your time. Thank you, Tyler

I hope that so few new posts indicate a low incidence in our community!

Mary1024 — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 22:46:36 +0000

I was Dx'd with late stage aggressive Uterine cancer in Oct. 2010. Had hysterectomy, chemo, radiation, more chemo, and internal radiation. Ugh. It was horrible to go through and financially devestating as I couldn't work during my 8 months of treatment. Anyway, just thinking back was all the pain worth it? Yes, I got to see my two nieces married, got to spend time with a newborn great-nephew, and created some wonderful memories with my family. Recently I've had some blood in my urine and I'm super worried about reoccurence in the bladder. Of course every ache or pain I think is a reoccurence - but this blood in the urine thing has my anxiety in overdrive. I try not to vent too much to my partner. We've been together 15 years and during my illness she has been my rock. We love eachother so much. I need to vent, but don't want to send her into fits of worry needlessly (hopefully). Would so love to take her back to Hawaii for our anniversary in November - but as I'm sure you understand - treatment has taken every dime I have and every dime I don't have too! Will be visiting the Dr tomorrow and hopefully have follow-up CT scans same day. Fingers crossed that the other shoe doesn't drop.

Florida Survivors

Julie061 — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 14:48:59 +0000

Hello! Just wondering if there are any survivors in Florida checking this board? Recently moved here to de-stress and focus on relaxing. Enjoy your day all! Julie

Gotta get this out

willendorf — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 17:50:23 +0000

My partner is dying, I think. We just got the newest in the round of bad news after a scan. This is the third time in two years. I am starting to recognize it on everyone's face when they talk to me. If they talk to me. I am freaking out. Is it possible that three times could really be the last time or are we on this spiral down? wish anyone knew or if they did they'd tell us. Then maybe it would encourage my dearest to not even have to think about whether or not she wants to go through more treatment. And how do I respond to that? I have always been in support of her and her needs and I understand, I do...but what IF this could be the last time? I am pretty good at going through the motions; I come from a long line of compartmentalize-rs. At least for right now. Who do I talk to when I don't even want to say these things out loud but I gotta get them out or I obsess over them. Deep, dark fears are popping out and I am scared. **** my pants scared that I could even think some of these things but they appear before my eyes without even trying. Her funeral is the worst. I can't shake it off. I don't want to talk about these things with people who love us, because it puts out bad mojo, I know, but they still come in. Please, please please make this stop.

Trying to fill my time "waiting"

ryditlkustolit — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:44:21 +0000

I feel bad posting as we don't even know what exactly is going on yet and I know most here are actively going through stuff. Short version (longer version on the breast cancer boards) Parnter found a lump, went to the doc who said yeah not normal, diag. mammography tomorrow. Her mom is a 6 year survivor, double mas. and chemo (not sure about radiation). Just noticed it maybe 3 weeks ago now, but now you can feel it through her shirt without even pressing down (granted she is like a size A but just barely, very flat chested so don't know if this makes a hige difference). None of her family knows, I told my mom. I try not to complain in general in life but am tired of trying to find someone to vent to only to have them dive into what is wrong in their lives after saying "that sucks". I could scream at this point. I am pissed because we should be planning our weekend camping trips in the mountains right now... not sitting here worried and not wanting anything to be wrong. We both worry quietly to ourselves not wanting to worry the other. I think she has more of the approach of "lets worry once we know" but I can't turn my brain off. I keep thinking of the house, the animals, and god forbid soemthing happening to her. I don't know how to shut my brain off. Ok, rant over... (just wanted to add when it comes down to it I can take care of business... just having a small pre-pitty party since I don't want to vent to her and add more on her plate) Dawn

how to keep a relationship going when a parent has cancer

peachycream — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:00:19 +0000

I'm 25-years-old and have been in an amazing relationship for the past six months. We have planned our lives together and were planning on moving in together this month. A week ago, my dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This has just destroyed my life. He is already disabled from a stroke he had a few years ago and we have been through so much. I also suffer from anxiety and depression already... Well, my girlfriend and I were used to being happy-go-lucky, staying with each other, dating, etc., but now I need to be at home with my family and I am so numb I feel like I can't have fun. She is upset because she just started a new job and her car brokedown and she needs me to be there for her, and it's hard for me when I feel like I need her to be here for me all the time through this. I feel like I have nothing to give right now, and even when I do try to have fun I feel guilty for doing so. She told me she is about to be tapped out with me not showing any emotion towards her. And to make it worse, I live in Mississippi and we are living next week to take my dad to start treatment in Houston Texas and M.D. Anderson. I just really need her to be here for me, but she needs me too and we don't know how to make it work. Any advice?

Posting a hello

emotionalpond — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 20:18:05 +0000

Just wanted to post a hello I am the primary caregiver for my partner with stage 4a cervical cancer. She was diagnosed in March and we have gone through chemo, radiation and internal radiation. She is also in Renal failure due to the cancer pinching her tubes. She has a stint in each kidney but not too sure if it's helping as her kidney funtion is very low still. We find out on Friday if the cancer is gone or if it's still hanging about. She also has a hole in her bladder from the cancer that makes her incontinant so she has to wear a diaper. She's very young for this at 38 but cancer does discrimanate age does it? We have 5 children between us ranging from 19 to 7. So it's a very busy household. I am also the primary bread winner so I'm tired! Jenn

Gynelogical Cancer Support in Joliet IL

maryv1119 — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 17:13:24 +0000

September is Gynelogical Cancer Awareness Month. Joliet Women's Cancer Support will have it's first meeting on Wednesday September 28th at 7pm. And will meet the last Wednesday of each month thereafter. Where: Joliet Oncology-Hematology Associates, Ltd 2614 W Jefferson Street Joliet, IL 60435 Please RSVP for our first meeting by calling 815-725-1355 Thanks!

The waiting game

congoody — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 00:39:12 +0000

Thank you annie60 for remembering me - great news on your recent tests showing No Evidence of Disease - that will be what I am hoping for on April 5th - my doctor is doing my follow up every 4 months now instead of every 3 - so the next couple of weeks are difficult - the waiting is so difficult - I will let you know the results when I know - stay well, warm wishes - connie

Questions

whistlestopgirl — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 00:13:41 +0000

It looks like some of the posts were taken off of the subject calling all gay,lesbian,transgender cancer survivors. It looks like the last reply was sometime in august when I know there were replies since that time in that subject. Anyway just curious if there is a limit to how many posts in one subject or maybe I am missing something or not seeing something correctly. Again just curious where those posts might be. Also I sometimes wonder if there are any other gay or lesbian people out there that are struggling with the day to day dealings of surviving cancer or being the caregiver of a partner that is a cancer survivor. I know many other subjects or catagories have hundreds of posts. Occasionaly someone may post under lesbians talk cancer, but then you never hear from them again so there is never really much dialog going on about anyone. If there is anyone out there that really would like to see this an active board please reply to this post. Also if anyone has any ideas what could help make the lesbians talk cancer a more active or appealing board please share your ideas. I'am putting it out there hoping that if there are any of you out there you can share your thoughts on this board and I hope make it more active. I know many of the challenges we face are the same as everyone else, but many challenges we face are different more unique to us being gay. So again if you have thoughts on anything I have said please send in your replies. Let everyone know you are out there. Thanks

new spot on xray

congoody — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:24:14 +0000

well I was waiting to respond until after I had been to the Doc with this new cough (4 months after diagnosis and lobectomy surgery) - no chemo or radiation - but now new spot in another lobe on same side - got the "oh it is probably scar tissue line" but await the decision about CT or PET scan next week - the Docs are discussing - it is the waiting that is so hard - wishing everyone well and fingers crossed for me - thank you all -Connie