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Caregivers

aburke522
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2017

The beginning and not sure what to expect.

My dad just got diagnosed with stage IV melanoma last month after breaking his femur due to a tumor that had weakedned it. It feels like we've been getting information piecemeal and we're at the point where they're trying to  figure out what kind of treatment he is a candidate for. It's been my sister and I that have taken him to radiation/doc appointments and his girlfriend who has been living with him and watching him at home since she doesn't work.

TheTerry
Posts: 14
Joined: Sep 2017

Hard to watch

I seem to be the only one here. Makes sense - after 2am here in Ottawa. Sitting by my sister's bedside. Gave her meds (PO) at 1am, decided to sit with her until she fell asleep. Fifteen minutes later, vomiting. She's resting now - hurts to talk - doesn't want replacement meds subQ just yet. She's palliative but some days seems so well it's hard to imagine she's dying. Actually docs say she's not "actively dying." We got blindsided two months ago when they told her chemo failed and there were no other treatment options. They gave her a month.

betula's picture
betula
Posts: 46
Joined: Mar 2017

Treatment is done...feeling more stressed now

My husband just finished his treatment for stage 3 rectal cancer.  He had 28 days of raditation and chemo, surgery which ended in permanent colostomy and then more radiation.  He had his ct scans done and things look good at this point.  This has been a journey to say the least.  

TheTerry
Posts: 14
Joined: Sep 2017

I have one nerve...

PSW, scheduled for three hours tonight, phoned to say she'd be here i  15 minutes BUT has a "heavy cold" and will try not to give it to my sister. Said she was actually not feeling well when here last night. WTF? Why, I  asked, did you not call this morning for a sub? Oh, you'll never get a sub on a holiday weekend, she said. (It's Thanksgiving weekend in Canada.) She said she'd try not to give the cold to my sister (in palliative care) or me. WTF again?

Shoo2
Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2017

anticipatory grief

Hi everyone

 

Shoo2
Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2017

anticipatory grief

Hi everyone

 

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mandmmagic
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2017

Dying spouse hates me now.

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung and brain cancer with multiple brain tumors on July 14th, and is now in the end of life stages. He has daily gone downhill these last two weeks, and can no longer stand up, even with help, and either can’t, or won’t talk to me. He has quit eating a couple of days ago, and barely drinks. He has been on home hospice for the last couple of weeks now, per his request.

ljezard
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2017

How to handle "I won't be around for that"

My husband has Stage 4 prostate cancer with metastasis happening quickly to several organs, and is now exhausting treatments.  I think we're looking at a year or so.

I'd like some advice on how to respond when he says things like, "It is probably my last Christmas" or "I probably won't be around for that".   Lately, nearly everything from talking about a little fall chill in the air while walking the dogs, to a car repair is tagged with these kind of comments.  

lonecougar
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2017

Guilt

 

gcelamjne
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2017

spouse diagnosed eight months ago with metastasized small cell lung cancer

I have a lot of sensitive questions to ask about this disease that are hard to ask in front of my husband at doctor appointments.  Any suggestions?  Have any of you found support groups to be helpful for caregivers?

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