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don't care

Tom M.
Posts: 212
Joined: May 2019

I don't care anymore. How do I delete all my stuff and get off this.

Ruthmomto4's picture
Ruthmomto4
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2013

I am sorry, i hate to hear that. I hope that your just having a bad day. Rightfully so it's very difficult sometimes. I know my husband had a lot of I don't care anymore moments. I hope you change your mind, but understand if you don't. I guess you could ask the administrator what to do. I wish you well, and know we all do care even when you have a moment that you don't. 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5509
Joined: Jan 2013

What don't you care about, Tom? 

Can you tell us, becasue we care, and we want to help.

Tru

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1170
Joined: Aug 2013

I know the feeling, cancer overload was a thing for me. Even those who get lucky, often want to get away from thinking or hearing about any of it, for varying periods. You've had a hard road that started so similar to mine, but hasn't cut you any breaks like I finally got after 8+ years of hard news and bearing a grinding load. I had a lot of these moments. Hope it passed, and your back to that mindset you've had..............................................Dave

Real Tar Heel
Posts: 253
Joined: Nov 2019

This was me for a few days this week, mostly because of things unrelated to cancer oddly enough. I keep wondering, when am I going to catch a break? And I don't. But well, infusion week is here again and here I go in the morning to absorb the delicious medication. Not caring is a luxury I don't have, I have people who I would like to keep on seeing and I think they would like to keep on seeing me. There is a freedom and perhaps a bravery in not caring, but for me, I'm not really free to think so.

I think that the posts that are on this board help people who are just going through this for the first time, and maybe part of our little legacy is that we've passed on some information that people may want. So maybe don't delete your stuff.

Tom M.
Posts: 212
Joined: May 2019

I'm sorry for my little hissy fit.Sometimes everythig is too much to handle. My son in law (Phd in micro biology) researched Lonsurf for me and gave me some up lifting info. It seems to have good results when used with Avastian. Also I am set up for Thursday to see a IR Doctor to remove liver tumors through ablation. It's not over yet.I will continue my fight with my cancer.  PS The oncoligst is holding back Avistian until after ablations. You are all my support group. We don't have a cancer support group where I live. Kinda silly because allot of folks have cancer. Oh well, thank you my friends.   Tom

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 1069
Joined: Dec 2017

I also felt better after seeing some good things about stivarga. And after reading up on ablation and deciding to get a consult on it. Just trying to get up the courage to tell my oncologist that last part. You know, I threw a bit of a fit. I feel really bad, but I also think that getting upset for a little bit means that you are I are human beings. It is normal to get upset. And it is great that we pick ourselves up, and decide to fight!

Thanks for that bit about avastin. I am guessing that Lonsurf will be my next drug after stivarga, and good to know avastin can be used with it. I have never had it. I was going to get it with oxaliplatin, but I got folfox over 6 to 8 hours because I was allergic to it, and each time was worse, so he didn't want to add any drugs.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5509
Joined: Jan 2013

It is fine to have these moments. Life on chemo is hard, very hard for you both, and venting helps.  

This forum is here for many reasons, and if you need to vent, we are here to listen and understaind. 

Tru

worriedson714's picture
worriedson714
Posts: 325
Joined: Dec 2019

Thank you for posting this tom my dad has a long way to go on folfiri but it's always good to know good info on new treatment . I will for sure be researching the lonsurf avastin combo for future for him . No worries about getting upset your entitled to it all cancer patients are I will be praying for you and your family and I am glad you found some uplifting news about lonsurf keep the hope going . 

Ruthmomto4's picture
Ruthmomto4
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2013

If you would have a change of heart, I am glad you did. I have hissy fits all the time! I am hoping the nee drugs combined with the ablation are just what you need. sending prayers  to you Tom!

PamRav's picture
PamRav
Posts: 323
Joined: Jan 2017

I think all of us that here in the thick of it feel like  you fid the other day.  You are not slone.  
If its any help ive always had avastin in my chemo regimes it gave me bloody gums, slight bloody nose at times. Ive fortunate not to have any bad effects. 
Chin Up Tom, carry on. 
❤️🙏🏼

SnapDragon2's picture
SnapDragon2
Posts: 582
Joined: Nov 2019

Tom,  I have admired you through your fight.  You have to fight for your life.  Find those answers with everything you got in you.  Fight for LIFE by your will to LIVE.

Tom M.
Posts: 212
Joined: May 2019

Thank you all for you kind words. I met with with the IR Doctor last week. They are going to do Radioembolization on liver mets. I looked it up. Ok, let's get 'er done. I will keep you all posted.

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 1069
Joined: Dec 2017

Gald you are eligible!

myAZmountain
Posts: 420
Joined: Apr 2018

Hope and pray they zap those mets once and for all! Keep us posted.

DanNH's picture
DanNH
Posts: 155
Joined: Feb 2021

Wishing you great results and minimal side effects!

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 304
Joined: Jun 2017

  Tom, we haven't spoken but you have people there who care for you. That alone is something some don't have. If there is anyone who needs you, you better step up and get well for their sake. Hate to be harsh but we've all been in the self pity camp from time to time and need a swift kick in the a$$ to get moved out of the black pit of dispare. Been there done that but once I look at my young children I realize real quick I'm all they have and must stay around for them. Find that focus.

Tom M.
Posts: 212
Joined: May 2019

Darcher, I have no self pity. I have been giving this whole thing a good fight from the begining. I had a 1 day lapse but got over it. I worry most for my family as any father and husband would. I have no intentions of giving into anything. I'm still very much in this game.

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1170
Joined: Aug 2013

You're both tougher than I, self-pity has snuck in there more than a few times. I beat it back, having a wife in such jeopardy most of the time I was, kids that needed me more and more as she faltered, and still running my small business in between everything,  it was somehow easier not to dwell on my particular prospects much, but it still found its way on occasion. I believe in ''the stiff upper lip'', but I also believe to be connected is to be honest with your feelings, as well. The logic in formal Stoicism helped quite a bit, but even that's a hard mount to stay up on. I prefer having those moments when I'm alone, and getting past them, to suppressing any feelings when they come, because I owe it to my family.........................................Dave

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 304
Joined: Jun 2017

  Keep it at just one day. Lets keep fighting the good fight.

Tom M.
Posts: 212
Joined: May 2019

We're doing it Darcher. Always forward.

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