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Stress affect Outcome ?

worriedson714
Posts: 169
Joined: Dec 2019

Hello All ,

        So as we wait to find out my dad's biopsy results a new worry has started to keep me up and night . There has been no shortage of family drama around my dad . My step mom just wants to see her kids from her first marriage all the time which upsets my dad, I don't get along with my stepmom at all cause she expects my dad to focused on all her problems like he has none .My aunts seem more worried about how hard it is on my step mom then worried about my dad . I get so ticked off when they all put there problems on my dad when he is going threw all this so I am guilty of that cause anger just makes drama worse .

           So long story short does anyone know if there is any research out there about the affects of stress on cancer patients ? Does it affect treatment or the outcome stuff like that cause it seems like stress would have to negativly affect both of those to me . I have no idea what to do about any of this my whole family has tried sitting down working it out . Just was a bunch of arguing but it is getting worse and worse which makes me more and more worried about the affect on my dad.  

         

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5339
Joined: Jan 2013

I think you should also worry about how stress is affecting you. You could drive yourself crazy stressing over everything; and yes, stress and Cancer go hand in hand. Some folks swear that their Cancer appeared after an extremely stressful period in their lives. 

There are many things that are way out our control, and sometimes we have to sit down and ask ourselves just what is worth the stress and what isn't. What can we control and what we can't, then let go of that which we can't. 

Tru

 

 

zx10guy
Posts: 274
Joined: Dec 2013

Stress in general is not good for anyone's health.  Not just cancer patients.  I'm certain my hypertension and cardiac problems were a direct result of all the stress I was going through with my divorce.

Tru is correct that you also need to focus on how stress is affecting you.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6652
Joined: Feb 2009

Anxiety and worry are not good for anyone, but I'm a total worrier, but that is not what caused my cancer.  It sounds like your dad is going through a lot of stress and anxiety right now when he needs the support from everyone.  I'm not sure you are going to change your stepmother, nor your dad's feelings for how she handles things.  You might want to go to his next appointment with his oncologist, or another doctor, and talk to them about the situation at home.  It also might be best if your dad and/or you talk to a therapist about all the stress this is causing in your family.  Just a thought, but it might do some good.  Hope things get better for your family.

Kim

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5339
Joined: Jan 2013

While I - or any of us - do not actually know the full sitution in your family, other than what you are posting here,  I just have to say, as a mother, that we do like to see our children, regardless of who fathered them, and that is something that should never be witheld from us. I haven't been able to see my Army son for over a year, and I feel it, almost like a physical pain, every single day.  

By your own admission, you do not get along with Stepmum, and that in itself can cause your father stress. 

Sometimes it is good to take a step back, or several. Take a good look, a real good look at everything and from everybodies point of view. 

Tru

 

worriedson714
Posts: 169
Joined: Dec 2019

@Annabelle I plan to do that when we see the onc tomorrow good idea 

 

@Trubrit your right as well 100 percent and that is what I am doing trying to step back look at my faults so I can do better . Because I now realize that getting along with my stepmom would help my dad and that's all I want to do . I feel like I have made his cancer worse and I have to get better become better at being supportive and I am sorry you can't see your son and I thank him for his service .

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 289
Joined: Jun 2017

   I was similarly situated but a slightly different circumstance. I'll leave it at that.  Anyhow, yes, there are studies that show stress can accelerate cancer's progression. My radiation oncologist explained it to me.

   And like Trubrit said, you're conflict with the step-mom is also a factor for your dad. You need to take it down a notch and take one for the team and try maintaining peace. Her wanting to see the others might be her copping method, who knows. If you can get together and assuming everyone is willing to and wants to have peace I'd suggest going to a group session with a therapist to resolve the issues.  If everyone is game, that's a clear indication there is a shared want of the same which should give you some peace of mind.   

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