Need some help

worriedson714 Member Posts: 333 Member

I am not sure if there is anyone who can help me with this or not but I don't know where else to turn . My dad has a ostomy bag and me and my step mom help him take care of it . Cause he has neuropathy and a hernia and can't do it on his own . Well things have gotten bad between my dad and step mom to were my step mom is getting verbally abusive towards my dad . 


She yells at him tells him he smells calls him all kinds of names everytime she has to help him with his bag . I am a adult and try my best to help . However I have my own issues with OCD depression and aniexty disorder so it's very hard . My dad has always been the one who takes care of me . My step mom treatment of my dad is causing so much stress and depression on him . 


I am wondering is there anyway to get my dad a home nurse to help him with his bag issues ? Like a pernament one he has medicare so idk hopefully someone can point me in the right direction to get my dad the help he needs . 




  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    edited September 2020 #2

    Please call his insurance carrier and see if they can help with his assistance on this.  I'm not sure what type of supplemental insurance your dad might have, so that would depend a lot on what is covered with his insurance.  A home health care nurse should have been provided after your dad had his surgery to help with his ostomy care.  If your doctor feels that it is necessary to have someone help him at home, the doctor might be able to write a script to get him some help just to show him how to do it on his own.  It would help him a great deal to learn how to do this because there might be times when neither of you are around, and he might have a leak or something and will need to have it changed. 

    Your stepmom is going through a great deal with all of this too and it is very possible that she feels overwhelmed with all of this as well.  I'm not sure how their relationship was before your dad's illness, but all of this puts a great deal of strain on the whole family.  It would be helpful if they could go to some type of counselor if possible so that both (even you) can deal with all of this.  Unfortunately, being a caregiver is harder than being the patient most of the time.  They will tend to lash out even when they don't mean it.

    Hope you can get some answers from your insurance company.


  • flutemon
    flutemon Member Posts: 41 Member

    I would also suggest checking in with a social worker either at the hospital where he had the surgery or with the oncologist/doctor.  I've had access to social workers at both places and they know what resources are available and should help set you up.

    So sorry your dad is going through this!


  • SnapDragon2
    SnapDragon2 Member Posts: 658 Member
    I was offered an ostomy nurse

    I was offered an ostomy nurse at first then home health after that if needed.  But yes, as flutemon suggested, a social worker also would be one avenue to explore.  

    Your step mom is definitely going thru stress and counseling (xanex perhaps) might be an option also for the situation.