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Sister's cancer is back

Hkc
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2020

Hi all. 

My sister's leukemia came back again. She was first diagnosed in 2015, went through chemo / maintenance chemo for the next 4 years, and was finally starting to live her life again when it came back last month. She's pretty young - only now in her early 30's - and it kills me that this is happening to her. I wish that she could have lived her dream - to be able to have a family. I feel guilty that I'm probably able to have kids but don't want any; it feels almost wasted on me. I want to do everything I can to help her through this time.

During the first time, I struggled a lot with her because she was abusive - verbally and sometimes physically. I don't know how to come to terms with this. I am afraid that this will happen again this time around. I moved out of the house, but still live nearby. My mom still lives at home and will help take care of her when she's home. I am also worried about my mom's wellbeing. I know my mom is feeling what a lot of people have talked about on this forum - guilt but also feeling disrespected for being yelled at all the time, and tired of not being able to have any of her own space / quiet time. I'm worried my mom will have a mental breakdown from all the stress. Or there may be a physical altercation and my mom may get hurt. 

I don't really know how to sort through all of my thoughts and feelings, but I've been reading a lot of the posts and responses on this group, as well as going to therapy and support groups that I can find and it's all been helpful. Thank you all in advance for anything you may have to say or share with me. 

Hkc
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2020

deeply sad. 

betula's picture
betula
Posts: 86
Joined: Mar 2017

I am sorry to hear that it is back and to hear all that you have been through during her previous cancer experience.  I am going to assume that your sister is/was not open to going to support groups or counseling.  You and your mother have every right to create some boundaries for yourselves in regards to your sister and her behavior.  I am hoping her behavior does not become abusive again but if it does set some clear lines with her about what will be tolerated and what will not and counseling or a change in her living situation may have to occur.  Maybe look into having a family meeting with a social worker from the oncology department to help mediate.

I wish you the best of luck

 

 

Hkc
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2020

@betula: thank you so much for listening. i appreciate your thoughtful response.

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