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Day by Day

k8's picture
k8
Posts: 30
Joined: Oct 2018

i have been caring for my 85 year old mother for 10 years now. Two and a half years ago she developed cancer on one of her vocal chords which was treated by radiation. after treatment was complete she went for check up and they found cancer in one of her lungs which they also treated with radiation. After that treatment was complete that did a CT scan and found cancer in her pancreas. They gave her chemo to slow the cancer down. That treatment was complete by end of summer last year. There have been several trips to ER whereas she was admitted. Towards the latter part of February she noticed lumps on one side of her throat. Scheduled appointment with ENT doctor, had biopsy done and was told it is cancer and she would need to have surgery. Went to see surgeon who stated she would not survive the surgery. Mom now in hospice care in my home. Last weekend she was walking and eating. She hasn’t eaten or walked since that time. As of today I have been asked to give her morphine every two hours to keep her pain free. I know what this means as I lost my father 31 years ago to cancer and he also was cared for by my wonderful step mother until the end. I believe my mom maybe has a week left if that. This is really hard but when we see our loved ones suffering our Only hope and wish is to relieve there suffering. We want them to be at peace. Mom knows she’s dying. She is mostly incoherent. By morning I do not believe she will wake up again. This is really hard for me but she told me she would just like to die in her sleep. 

I also have a husband who was diagnosed with rectal cancer August last year. He had chemo then surgery to have his rectum removed January this year. Currently going through mop up chemo with temporary ileostomy with surgery scheduled for August to hook him back up and remove ileostomy. He has a long road ahead of him. 

We are truly resilient individuals. 

Kate

LunaLady
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2019

are many but your attititude is inspiring.  I don't know that I can offer any advice, nor does it sound like you are asking for any.  But I would like to extend my gratitude for the strength you show in your post and the resiliency you inspire.  I am sorry you hare dealnig with another loss but I admire and agree with your assessment.  When my Grandmother was ready to go, as much as we knew WE would miss HER, we were ready for her to go on.  It was what was best for her. 

I am sorry for your hardships and pain.

accordiongirl
Posts: 63
Joined: Sep 2018

for you and your mom.  i just lost my 83 yr old mom last week.......it's a terrible thing to go through, even if you know it's coming.  Please be patient with yourself as you go through this.  My heart is with you.

~ accordiongirl

k8's picture
k8
Posts: 30
Joined: Oct 2018

Luna and Accordian girl for your kind words. I lost my mom last Thursday May 16. I miss her very much and will always have an emptiness inside and also comfort knowing she is no longer suffering. My heart goes out to both of you for the loss of your loved ones also. I also have my husband who has colorectal cancer, currently going through mop up chemo before surgery in August. This one is even more challenging then my mom as he does not talk much to me about what he’s feeling. I feel fortunate to have found this forum to read what others going through same circumstances are dealing with their cancer. When and if the time comes I will also have to go through this again caring for my husband. I remain strong and committed for what is yet to come. Thanks for listening and letting me vent a little. 

Kate

LunaLady
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2019

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom.  I undertand this has been a very hard road.  You show strength in your posts and I am inspired.  I hope if you need to vent or talk, you will feel comfortable reaching out.

k8's picture
k8
Posts: 30
Joined: Oct 2018

for your support

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