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Treatment done anxiety lingers

Cinnamongirl's picture
Cinnamongirl
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Hey all, I hope you all are well and enjoying life. I finished my SBRT on the 8th but since then I cannot seem to shake this anxiety/scared feeling.

I scan on May 13th and I find myself so nervous. I am not on any systemic treatment but cant help but wonder what they will find next.... I was stage T2B at diagnosis and even though it was a grade 3 I found myself like many hoping for a lil breathing room before mets appeared. 

Now that I have finished radiation I am having a real hard time relaxing... my nodules were small 9mm each and there were only 2. ...i knknoknknow i should not worry about things out of my control but I find myself at a loss to accomplish this.

Any advice would be welcomed 

Thanks Cin

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 847
Joined: Nov 2014

Oh dear Cin, no real advise, because I don’t know myself how to deal with these situations. But perhaps you could see your family doc and ask for some pills to severe anxiety? Calm mind helps body too, immune system works better when stress is relieved. Skme theraphy with psychologist maybe? 

Anyway, here are people who have dealt with couple of mets years ago and are living normal life now! Donna, for example...

we are always here for you to vent!

Retcenturion's picture
Retcenturion
Posts: 240
Joined: Mar 2017

Good to hear from you Cinn, hope your recovering quickly. Hopefully you planned something to treat yourself before the May scan. Again sending you some positive and calming thoughts for you and your loved ones.

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1904
Joined: Mar 2014

It's easy to say we shouldn't be anxious/worried over things we can't control but  lot harder to accomplish. You've been through a lot; it's understandable that you're anxious. I hope the treatmento took care of the nodules and you can finally relax. I agree that a mild anti-anxiety med like Xanax may help. Thinking of you and wishing you the best xo

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 884
Joined: Feb 2009

Put on comfortable clothes, turn on a funny movie and have a brew.  But I'm not, so all I can do is encourage you to do as Allochka suggests.  The right anti-depressant can make a world of wonders in your life, and more especially, ease you over some anxiety inducing times.  I've been there and it's not fun feeling like everyone and everything is against you; all all you're trying to do is survive.

Best wishes and know we're cheering for you.

Lotsa Hugs,

donna_lee

Cinnamongirl's picture
Cinnamongirl
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Donna, I'm usually ok...its just I need some breathing room. I cant help but think what's next. ? I mean now I can only assume it's always going to be something when I scan..

Just sad I guess.

eug91's picture
eug91
Posts: 111
Joined: Jan 2019

I wish I had some great advice. All I can say is that you're not alone and we understand and know how you're feeling. While I tell myself that any new ache and pain is PROBABLY nothing, it's hard not to just think the worst. The constant worry sucks.

All we can do is treat ourselves to some fun and joy every now and then, then just take it day-by-day. I guess it's a little like healing after our nephs. Take it a little at a time, accept that we're gonna have some setbacks, but everybody recovers at their own rate and we just do the best we can. 

Sending you a virtual hug. 

Cinnamongirl's picture
Cinnamongirl
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Thanks everyone for your positivity! I'm just hoping I dont light up like a Christmas tree when I scan...lol

jazzgirl's picture
jazzgirl
Posts: 125
Joined: Nov 2017

First, thank you for posting the video of your treatment on facebook.  So vulnerable and generous and helped me see what you are going through. Oh, anxiety - our little sidekick.  I don't know where you are on the "spiritual spectrum", but I find prayer helps, as does plain old breathing in a counsciuos way. Sometimes I realize I am not breathing at all, or very shallowly, and have to literally tell myself, "breathe."  I know you are busy, busy, but even 10 seconds of a few intentional deep breaths in and out helps. Do a search on "breathing for anxiety" and you will find lots of helpful youtubes. Having said all that, I also agree with others - talking frankly with a professional, with family and friends may help deal with the anxiety. Take care -

jazzgirl's picture
jazzgirl
Posts: 125
Joined: Nov 2017

Can't find how to delete the duplicate...

Dominick0711's picture
Dominick0711
Posts: 87
Joined: Jan 2019

I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for many years before my diagnosis and needless to say post diagnosis it has been a real challenge to control.  I’m constantly in fear of the worst about the cancer and nearly everything else in my life especially since the diagnosis.  What I’m about to suggest is not I. Any way meant to say that I have been successful in beating this but I do think counseling and or support groups are a huge help.  many people shy away from it or associate a stigma with it but the period where I was in counseling was the period where I was managing it best.  The other things I agree with that were mentioned are deep breathing exercises, time with friends and family and also methods of escape and alone time. Dependent on the person what you do during that time will vary for me it’s cooking.  Gets the crazy thoughts out of my head. It’s something I enjoy that I do alone.

also try to accept that it’s a normal feeling and don’t actively fight it away that makes it worse.  Feeling depressed or anxious considering all you have been through is normal.  Accepting the feelings instead of trying to fight them away will disarm them.

Easier said then done.  I wish I could do a better job of consistently doing all of this but I have found these things to work best!

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1308
Joined: Oct 2013

We all can appreciate anxiety over the next test results and such. But if you "think" about this, we cannot control anything

but our attitude, and how to cope each day, even if an hour at a time. I know, easier said than done.

I used this prayer or statment to keep me grounded:

(God) Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change

the COURAGE to change the things I can

and the WISDOM to know the difference.

You came to us, Cinnamon, which is a good start!

We'll always be here for you, along side you, all the way!

Healing Hugs,

Jan

 

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 884
Joined: Feb 2009

When the cancer shows up again soon after an original Dx and treatment (surgery, drugs, rad.) it generally was there all along, but not large enough to detect.  After #2 is found, one seems to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop-as in another recurrence.  That does cause anxiety.  "Luckily" (hah), mine did so at 1 year and 2 years following the original find. The longer I've gone since 2006 '07, '08 the more relaxed i've become.  Until some other item pops up, i.e. thyroid enlargement (just benign nodules), stomach polyps (removed in endoscopy, and stuff like that.

Hope you can get some relief soon.

Hugs,

donna_lee

Cinnamongirl's picture
Cinnamongirl
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Donna, I think for me its because after I was DX in Dec of 17 they found a small spot in my remaining kidney which was benign then spots in my breast which were nothing..

Then 3 lung nodules which one resolved itself so when they did a biopsy on the left one and it was positive.... it crushed me. 

Then SBRT which was tolerable. But now I'm scared again. I get it's out of my control but I cant seem to dial it back. 

Thank you Donna for always being a reassuring voice for me!

Cinnamongirl's picture
Cinnamongirl
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Just a quick update. I scanned yesterday and results show that other than the inflammation in the areas we treated I am clear everywhere else! Meet with onc on the 20th to go over everything. Had to read the scan report a couple of times to believe it. 
I hope you all are well and I thank you all for always being here for me along this journey!
Cin

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1904
Joined: Mar 2014

That's great news! You must be so relieved. Very happy for you, Cin.

stub1969's picture
stub1969
Posts: 767
Joined: Jul 2016

This is wonderful news on this outcome to your procedure, Cinnamon.  I know you'll continue to be faithful with your scan schedule.  

Wishing you only the best!

Stub

Gtngbtr58 @aol.com's picture
Gtngbtr58 @aol.com
Posts: 204
Joined: Oct 2017

You had a hard start-but what is important is where you are today.  Keep on top of things (I'm sure you will).  Wishing you continued "good news" going fotward-June

Mighty Frog's picture
Mighty Frog
Posts: 128
Joined: Jul 2017

Time for relax and plan for a good holiday! 

eug91's picture
eug91
Posts: 111
Joined: Jan 2019

Super happy for you, Cin!!

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1308
Joined: Oct 2013

YAAAY!! See trust your faith (I don't mean religion per se). Trust that these docs know their stuff and have better treatments.

But now EXHALE!!! 

Sending you continued healing hugs!

Jan

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 477
Joined: Jul 2016

Great news Cin! 

jazzgirl's picture
jazzgirl
Posts: 125
Joined: Nov 2017

Hi Cin, So glad to hear this latest outcome. Prayers coming your way on the 20th when you meet with your doc, and as you go forward. Cheers!

en8236
Posts: 28
Joined: Dec 2017

Best of luck with the doc's appointment

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 847
Joined: Nov 2014

Yes!!!! Fantastic news!

sandy23
Posts: 137
Joined: Jan 2017

That is truly fantastic news!!  Way to go, Cin.  Let us know how your appointment goes.

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 884
Joined: Feb 2009

So happy to hear the good news for you.  Just hope many more on this board get good news, too.

Hugs,

donna_lee

Deanie0916
Posts: 234
Joined: Nov 2016

So happy foryou.

Cinnamongirl's picture
Cinnamongirl
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Dr appt this morning went well. He is very happy with my scan. Pretty much told me..' Go enjoy your summer see you for scans in Aug!'
Great way to start the week!
Hope you all are well and enjoying the starof summer!

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1904
Joined: Mar 2014

Time to enjoy the summer. So happy for your good news :)

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 477
Joined: Jul 2016

Enjoy summer Cin! Happy to hear your doing good.

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