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Posts of mine that I wanted to save that were lost in the January 2019 CSN OUTAGE-


So I've joined your club-

Dec 05, 2018

...not that I was given a choice in the matter, but as of this week I've got kidney cancer. 

I really want to thank everyone who's posted ANYTHING on this discussion board. I've read ALL of it and it has been incredibly helpful - from the personal stories to the good news to the setbacks to the technical talk. Reading your thoughts has really calmed me down and made this big mysterious unknown into something I can understand and take on. So THANK YOU. 

As for my story, I had a hematuria before Thanksgiving. Urologist checked and didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but he sent me for a CT scan just to be safe. 

Sunday night I was at a work party. Got a text that the urologist was going to be calling me. "On a Sunday night? Uh-oh." He called. I went into the other room and sat down on a couch - and he gave me the news that they found a 10cm orange/grapefruit-sized tumor on my left kidney. 

Man, it's a weird feeling hearing the word cancer sink in while you hear your friends drinking and laughing in the next room over. After the call, I called the wife to tell her, went back to the party and mingled and tried to act as if nothing was wrong, then booked it home to hug my family and just be shocked. 

For the next couple of days, I just felt impending doom. I learned everything I could about the disease and I told myself I was gonna beat this, but maybe I was just lying to myself. Total fog. Didn't sleep well. Dreaded having to tell my kids. Cursed that I didn't own more life insurance. 

Tuesday I had a CT scan looking for mets in my lungs. Two hours later, got an excited call from my urologist. Clean. The cancer hasn't spread. Not in my lung, not in my lymph nodes. YAAAAAS!! Pumped up beyond belief. Now I am SUPER CONFIDENT I will beat this.

That night I went to church to say a quick prayer. I don't think I actually said anything - just closed my eyes and blubbered some thankful thoughts. Opened my eyes and felt really small. Like the ceiling and the statues in the church were 800 feet tall. 

I've got an appointment with my urologist Friday to schedule my surgery. Radical nephrectomy sometime this month. Can't wait to get this out of me and get on with the rest of my life. I look forward to sharing the ups and downs with the rest of you. 


so I saw my doctor today

Dec 08, 2018

I have a date for my radical nephrectomy - two weeks. I love the timing. Nothing to do over Christmas and New Year's except heal and count my blessings. Cancer-free Christmas and looking forward to great things in 2019. 

My doctor had a ton of things to explain. All the stuff I've already learned from this message board. Gave me the print out of my CT scan showing the tumor. Yikes. I told him I was "eager" to get the kidney out, but I accidentally said I was "excited" - which definitely makes me sound like a crazy person... 

At the moment, the worst part of this process is the toll the stress is taking on my wife and kids. I can tell they're feeling helpless that I have to do this myself, so I've been trying to remind them not to worry and that I'm still here and will still be here after the procedure. Tonight at dinner, my son made a joke calling this the "Christmas that Daddy Got Cancer". It felt good to hear the kids able to laugh about it. 

The kids ordered mozzarella sticks for dinner but left a bunch uneaten. I haven't had one since I was a teenager, so I thought: "why not?" I let myself have a mozzarella stick. WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING - THESE THINGS ARE JUST DEEP FRIED CHEESE. Ugh. Cancer's not going to get me, but my stupid eating decisions might. BLEH.

Thank you again for the words of support, everyone. You're the best.


Nephrectomy in the morning

Dec 21, 2018 

Thank you again everyone for all your supportive words and advice. I appreciate everything you guys have shared and my calm attitude is due in large part to your calming attitudes, so thank you thank you thank you. 

So I'm checking in tomorrow morning at 9:15am. Robotic laproscopic radical nephrectomy sometime after. I've never had surgery before, but this feels exactly like the times my wife went to the hospital to give birth - except now I'm the one packing an overnight bag and she'll be the one pacing around texting updates to family. 

The weirdest thing is that - other than knowing this cancer's inside me - I feel GREAT. From your advice, the last few weeks have been treadmill, sit-ups and stretches, eating healthier, drinking more water, spirometer exercises. With the 10+ pounds I've lost from lack of appetite, I look FREAKING YOUNGER THAN EVER. Just in time for surgery... 

Anyways, I've got a clear liquid meal and a bottle of magnesium citrate with my name on it. I'll post again when I'm able. Thanks again everybody. Love you guys. 


This hospital has WiFi!

Dec 23, 2018

I did it! I can’t believe I made it through. 

Thank you everyone. I read your kind posts in the waiting room to lift my spirits before I went in. 

I’ll share the technical details and play-by-play later, but for now, I’m managing the pain and feeling incredibly fortunate. Hoping to go home tonight. 



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